[SeascapeMn]

Hi everyone,
Sorry for the long post but I thought you might need a back story. My husband and I have been together for 24+ years. He was undiagnosed when we started dating and did not get a diagnosis until after our daughter was born. His manic episodes were getting worse and worse so I finally had to tell him that he either got help or I was packing up my and our daughters things and we were leaving. Thankfully he chose to get help. He has been in therapy and on meds for over 15 years now. It took awhile to find the best ones for him, but what he’s on now seems to be good most of the time.
Stress still sets his moods off. He used to be fairly good at controlling his behavior, but for the past 6-8 months he’s gotten steadily worse. He’s still on his meds and seeing his therapist weekly, but his episodes have been not great. He’s gotten very into an online game he used to sometimes play and if he’s losing he gets SO angry, it’s just mind boggling. He yells and curses and has started throwing things. Not at people, at the wall, but still. Today he got stressed out about something and started playing this game. When he started to lose he literally swiped everything but the computer off of his desk and made a huge mess. All of the laundry I washed over the weekend needs to be redone and we now need to steam clean the carpets.
He then got angry at me because I was picking up a few things and started yelling about how he’s quitting his job because he hates it and he’s wasted the past 3 years on it because he felt forced to do it. No one has forced him to do anything, he enjoys his work but every time he gets upset like this we go through the “I’m done with” spiel and then move on to the “we’re getting a divorce “ spiel.
It’s getting exhausting and I ended up snapping tonight and telling him that I just don’t care how he feels about it. He needs to make an adult decision and stick with it. I then went on to tell him o was very stressed out and to not speak to me for the rest of the evening. That may sound a little childish, but it’s just getting to be too much. I just started a new job and now have to call in sick so I can go rent a steam cleaner and get our house clean because he’s still in his “I don’t care” phase. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep doing this, it’s just pushing me further and further away.

[Yaowen]

I am so sorry you are in this situation. How awful!!!

I think your thoughts and feelings are completely understandable given the circumstances.

Wish I knew what to suggest to be helpful to you but I am at a loss right now. Maybe if I think more about your situation I will come up with something. Hopefully others here will prove helpful to you.

So sorry that I don't know how to helpful to you right now. My heart goes out to you!!!

[Rive.]

That sounds really rough. No wonder you feel pushed away as that is exactly what his actions and temper are doing to you. Not a good example for children to witness either, that is scary to see an adult (their father) losing it this way.

It seems like he needs anger management classes. I also wonder if he may need a meds adjustment. Is he followed by a medical doctor / psychiatrist?

[Have Hope]

EEK - sorry you are going through that. Sounds like he needs more intensive therapy and perhaps a med reassessment and adjustment. I would be at my wits end dealing with that. He seems out of control and completely unaware of it.

[SeascapeMn]

I don’t think he’s fully aware of it. When he’s in one of his manic episodes he can’t think straight and I don’t know that he even completely remembers everything he says. Luckily our daughter is an adult now and didn’t witness a ton as a child. I tried to shield her from as much as possible. He does see a therapist weekly and his med doctor monthly. I am hoping they can help figure this out. I feel like her would really benefit from some in-patient treatment, but getting him to agree to it is a whole other issue.