[poshgirl]

Background info - belong to a WhatsApp group and YouTube channels relating to my hobby. Husband and wife have separate channels and same support expectations. They've arranged members meeting for September.

Few weeks ago, one member raised an issue which others disliked. Part of problem was language barrier and he wasn't exactly polite. First I knew when he messaged to tell me about it, as he'd noticed I wasn't participating. We chatted about it online and thought dust would settle. Yet to meet him, was planned for earlier this year but mother passed. At moment, only firm opportunity is that meeting.

Knew friend had talked to the husband about situation, but wife contacted me for my "take". Initially, I just made general comments but then she got nasty. Accused me of not supporting their channels and ignoring people in live chat because they didn't speak English. Totally untrue! I got really annoyed and called her a liar, saying I would report her to WhatsApp. Her husband is now making sarcastic comments when I appear in live chat. I've helped them financially in the past but she noticed I'd withdrawn that too. Think I'm being gaslighted....

Friend has advised me to ignore but it's difficult when someone is telling blatant lies. He uses other languages to greet people, but doesn't chat at length. They're obsessed with a rival channel, it rules their lives. I just feel mentally exhausted and disappointed that they've chosen to behave this way.

Have about 20 days to decide whether I want to go to the September meeting as have package holiday booked and don't want to lose more than the deposit.

[CANDC]

I am sorry that you are suffering from the downside of the internet, people being inconsiderate.

I do not know what you should do but if I was considering what to do I would ask am I comfortable being around them? My answer would weigh heavily on my decision to expose myself to more of this type of behavior.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please tag me by including @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

[Discombobulated]

As an outsider this sounds a bit crazy. Like a lot of drama? I’d be very wary of being drawn into it. Why have they needed money from you? That also makes me very wary.

[poshgirl]

Thank you both for your responses. Hope I've got this right @CANDC

This is played out on YouTube. If you have a channel then you can get monetary support in a number of ways. YT take around 30% from monetary donations. A scale of charges according to how long you've been a member, paid monthly until you cancel. Members can give gifted memberships, priced from 1 to 100. There's also a "buy me a coffee" system, again avoiding YT's charges.

I agree with both of you. Feel very uncomfortable about being there. Am only guessing but would not be surprised if they've circulated my response to the wider WhatsApp group. They both love a drama and have a warped view of how they should operate their channels. Blocking people for mentioning their rival (accidentally), then allowing bad behaviour in live chat because they are desperate to be liked. Sad really!

Now I'm doubting friend who advised me to ignore this. It's gotten too serious now for this. My main gripe is I was not part of his original rant yet I'm the one left with the fallout. Over this weekend there's going to be an uncomfortable conversation with him, as I've almost decided on my course of action.

Final words go to a pilot friend, "social media can be a cesspit at times". How true that is

[Revenge Tour]

Life is way too short to concern yourself with other peoples' online behavior, what their feelings are, what their motives may be, etc. Discombobulated summed it up best. It sounds like a lot of drama. I'd just move on to another site, forum, platform, etc. No big deal.

[poshgirl]

Thanks for your take on this Revenge Tour.

One thing I didn't add was I met both of them in person last October. There had only been one or two comments from her before then. Minor ones that I didn't attach much importance to. They took me out one day, even showing me where one of their enemies works

I've made a list of her false accusations. When challenged I'm accused of not understanding or she says she's not stupid. Strange thing is she's experiencing same things with her elderly mother as I had with mine. Different culture, different views.

Yes, I've had enough of the drama. Person who caused latest problem is staying in same hotel as me. In fact, he talked me into booking trip 9 months ago. His view is to just ignore them. Another friend suggested I didn't cancel, just take a week's holiday doing my own thing.

[poshgirl]

An update.

The dreaded chat finally happened today and went better than expected. Friend who talked me into this holiday was concerned I'd considered cancelling. He was in agreement with other friend who suggested just treating it as holiday I really need.

The couple haven't contacted him privately either for at least a month. He agreed when I said I was fed up with their dramas. His suggestion to let's see if anything else happens is sensible, hoping commonsense will prevail.