Me again -questions

Let me say that I'm happy to have this page and all the people in it.
Today was not such a good day, my thoughts and ideas were negative and sometimes mixed about what to do about how I feel.
I know in some ways that I should tell my therapist or Dr that my thoughts are mixed about life. For the most part I am not wanting to share those only because I have only been out of the hospital for such a short time.
I can't tell if how I'm feeling is normal or not after being in the hospital. The feelings I am having are not as strong as they were but yet it makes me wonder.
How have some of you handled your feelings about telling or not being honest to those that should know?
I haven't even talked to my husband about this, but I was just wondering if I just gave it some time that my thoughts would change.

I think it depends on how much you trust your treatment team. I know that my dr and therapist won’t “jump the gun” and hospitalize me if I just express ambivalence about life. Even when I am actively suicidal my therapist tries to work with me until I can get through it. She only called crisis this last time because I was engaging In dangerous behavior and I refused to contract for safety. It was my fault.

As always my suggestion would be to be honest with your team as much as possible because they can’t help you if you’re not honest.

Be aware that because you just got out of IP you might be feeling a little “raw” as it were and might be over analyzing your moods. I know I’m always scared after an IP stay that I will slip right back into it, especially if the IP stay wasn’t particularly successful and I just wanted to get out of there ASAP.

When I was being completely honest with my therapist I wrote notes to her. If you want help you have to have a little trust. I haven't been able to be honest with my last two therapists. So I quit therapy. Sorry I can't be more helpful.

I think the vast majority of Pdocs and T’s aren’t trigger happy and try to keep people out of IP ... that’s the goal in treating MI

I’m in a really lousy spot right now and told me T altho I have passive thoughts of suicide daily... but since there is no plan WITH intent i feel and my T agreed ... I’m going to keep my head above water.

It takes time to build trust, share with you team with however much you can.

I’m glad your posting here..

Yeah when I spoke with Doc it was the worst letter that he had seen from me as far as how I was feeling and as what as I what to do. So that maybe some insight to me as to why I was put in the hospital. In the past I can recall mentioning having feelings about death or wanting to be dead but not necessarily acting on it. I guess that's the point I need to make to them and to give them a heads up.

I’m always honest with doctors. I don’t see the point in lying.
I think this is particularly so if your mood has done a sudden drop.

I have no problem telling my T how I'm feeling. I'm paying her to help me.

I just don't want them to think I am heading down the same path. I want them to know because this is how it all started with minor thoughts of death and than it came down to wanting to be dead.
I trust my T and Doc. truthfully I was shocked when he said Inpatient.
After my stay we talked and he said he doesn't like to go that route but I sounded desperate.
So I know from that and past history that he isnt going to throw me in right away, but I just do not know what his reaction will be down since I just got out.