[chosen25]

For those who read my previous post about asking a girl out I was interested in and she shot me down here is an update. After giving her the cold shoulder the past few days she texted me saying that I have been acting weird. She apologized for ditching me and said she needed time for herself, and she went through a lot of %#@&#! with her ex who dumped her and said she was sorry over and over again via text message. I'm going crazy....she saids she needs time to herself. But In my head this most likely means she is not interested in me at all. Fine, it hurts me but I'm so frustrated with dealing with it. Just tell me the truth! I rather know upfront and be hurt then guessing.I texted her back saying lets just sit down and talk about it! but she never responded. I find this to be very rude and inconsiderate. I just want to talk in person! not via text! I'm moving on...I don't want anything but just to talk...but she doesn't want to hear my side of things I guess. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[sabby]

Hi chosen25,

Sorry you are having difficulties here. May I ask you a question? Why is it hard to accept the fact that maybe she really does just want some time to herself? I think that by talking yourself into believing that she's not interested in you is very self-defeating. If she apologized over and over again, it sounds to me like she cares about your feelings and is truly sorry for putting you off. It's possible she needs time to regroup from her breakup and to heal and recover.

Jumping into another relationship with someone after a break-up is not usually conducive to having a good relationship. It's called rebounding and it generally fails.

If you are pushing her to talk to you when she is not at all ready to talk, then you are most definitely pushing her away. You are not showing her that you have patience and understanding of HER feelings right now. I believe she showed you she cares about your feelings by the multiple texts saying she was sorry.

Please give her the benefit of the doubt before getting more angry over this. Take her words at face value until you have concrete proof that they are not true. I think you are jumping to conclusions possibly because rejection is difficult to take.....and you are feeling the need to protect yourself.

Sending you calming thoughts and wishes of peace.


sabby

[chosen25]

I do understand that she needs space, and I want to respect that...It just sounds like there is more too it. It just sounds like something that is very common to say when a girl is not interested in a guy and wants to spare his feelings.

Thanks for your advice and opinions. You do make a lot of good points that I haven't really thought about too much. I guess I just needed to vent and let the frustration out. I haven't been very thoughtful of her...I guess I put too much hope into it, I haven't been in a relationship in a long time. Thanks for letting me see the other side of this. I'm just going to go on with my life.

[Perna]

I think that it is a good idea to move on. I wouldn't take it personally since she is obviously having problems of her own and behaving in accordance with what is going on in her life instead of paying attention to you and her. I think you are right, she sounds rude and inconsiderate to not even sit and talk with you so you can better understand what's going on. But I'd just say, "to heck with it" and find another girl who appears to take an interest in you right now when you want it :-)

[sabby]

chosen, you may very well be right....there may be more to it. And I certainly understand the need to vent and get the anger and frustrations out.

I think going on with your life is a great idea. When you find the right girl, you will know it

Wishing you well!


sabby

[BalishBun]

People do funny things sometimes. And sometimes they want to talk about it and sometimes they dont. I don't think you ignoring her was acting strange, maybe she couldnt see your good intentions.

[chosen25]

So it turns out she will be moving across the country in a few months....she told me about a week ago. She has known about it for a month. While i am sad to hear she will be moving, things make more sense now. Maybe she didn't want to start something when she would be moving, or something else. It clears things up a lot...and I HAVE to move on now. Its not as hard now though.