[Kdragonsong]

So I have been together with my BF for three years. We both recently were diagnosed with mental illnesses (I was first after two suicide attempts), then he started to show symptoms. He is starting to find the right meds for his problems, but not quick enough. Anyways here is the jist of our relationship, and I need advice on if its worth staying or not.

- We dont have sex very often (in fact after a three month void I dont really like sex with him anymore)
- he has OCD about cleaning and expects me to clean before he gets home even though i am sleeping cause I work graveyard and when it is not done he imediataly starts cleaning even before sitting down when he gets home.
- He is trying to cuddle and kiss me more but it feels like he is doing it to his sister
- We dont have anything in common except our facination with death, serial killers, some rock bands and... well thats it.
- We love each other but cant seem to give each other the thing we desire the most from the relationship.
- we have everything separate, he even keeps a bill of what i have borrowed from him
- I want and need friends to come over or to hang with and he is anti-social. He never leaves the house and doesnt want people over.
- we dont talk about what is on our minds unless we are about to break up.
- He gives me stability, and security. I know i wont have to move again or start my life over again because of some crisis
- he has the perfect loving family which I never had as a foster child.
- he loves my son

Here are some things... but what would you do? Each day I feel different toward him. First I cant live without him then I cant see myself staying with him. I dont know what to do.

[BalishBun]

You know, relationships are a funny thing. You have so many years that youve been with him and your mind goes into so many directions. I would maybe see if you could talk something over with him (not a break up talk) but see if any talking at all changes things.

[StarPonysMama]

(((Kdragonsong)))

Not sure what to say here.

I've been through realationships like this. It took me alot of soul searching to find out what was right for me. And I still don't have it down to a tee and know I never will.

I'd try to do some self exploration. Security is nice but I don't think you should stay in it just to feel secure. I totally know about the strong family thing too - it attracted me and kept me in a non-beneficial relationship for 4 years. In the end, I think it comes down to self love.
If you love yourself first, then you use less crutches to get through life in my opinion.

I think you should really analyze what you can an cannot live with. Do the benefits outweigh the negative? If you have to, sit down and list all the pros & cons of staying & going. I've done it and while did not ultimately determine my final decision, it at least shed some light and kinda put it in perspective.

Good luck though. I totally know these things are difficult!

Take Care!

[susanp]

make a list of pros and cons and see which list is the longest. Maybe you'll get your answer

[Razzleberry]

Is he the father of your son?