Strange Relationship Situation.....

For the past 3 months I have been dating a man who is 9 years younger than me. He is someone I truly enjoy talking to and just hanging out with. We have many similar interests and I am comfortable being around him. So far he has shown no hint of a bad temper which is great because I have been there too many times in relationships. I have a 14 year old who he has met and they get along famously. I am getting to a point where I really like him and want to spend more time with him but there are some um.....odd things going on that I don't understand and have never encountered in a relationship. First, we have held hands once but never kissed in 3 months. Second, as part of a bizarre evening he started masturbating in front of me. I decided to um....help him along. Afterwards he was moody and sullen and the next day we had a chat online about slowing down. I agreed that we needed to take things slower because we get along well and don't want to force the relationship. Then he mentioned that he would still be dating other people....... that really bothered me and I let him know that while I agreed we should slow down the dating other people is just not my style. After that things were a little weird our next meeting and while we talked and hung out just like always he did not give me a hug goodbye and has not in the past month. We have gone on several more dates but still no more physical contact. This was all a little strange for me to begin with but about two weeks ago we were at his place to watch a movie and he started masturbating in front of me again! This time in an attempt to keep the promise to slow down I just sat there and waited for him to finish. Afterward we watched a movie and it was like nothing was out of the ordinary. I am so confused! What is going on here? I am 34 and have been in several relationships but this is a true first. Any ideas or input into what is happening?

Run Forest Run...

I am sorry Seaturtle but his brash display of pure self gratification without any preliminary discussion or concern about you is disconcerting at the very least. I have no idea about the aspects of his sexual issues but it is certain that they are not within the normal range of our culture....

I would be concerned...

IMHO.

Lenny

Yeah being 36 and having several relationships myself and then married, this one is a first for me too.

I mean, usually one doesn't do anything solo early on in a relationship without expecting to bring it to the next level so to speak. It just seems weird that he would do that and not want to hug,kiss, or to be quite honest, have sex with you. (Not that you would have to say yes by any means.)
I myself would be turned off by this kind of behavior and as Lenny said, I'd be concerned!

((((((((((( Seaturtle )))))))))))))

To me, this is more than just strange....there is definately an issue here and I agree with Lenny completely....run....and don't look back. You deserve better.....something is not right here. Please take good care of yourself!


sabby

Since he feels comfortable masturbating in front of you; I think I would try to discuss it with him. I don't know how many conversations you've had about any previous relationships but that might be enlightening too? What about the rest of his life? Does he have friends, siblings, good job, etc. that you know about/have met? It's hard to picture him at all in a "regular" context. Is he still a older teen, in his mid-20's, at school?

Perna

He has a good job that he has been in for 6 years, he is buying his own house, he is very close to his family and has many friends.
I have met two of his friends so far and one of his cousins. I have not met the rest of the family yet.
Next week he will be graduating from college with a dual bachelors degree and will continue after the summer for his Masters.
I would say he acts for the most part very mature for his age.
We talk about everything so perhaps it is time to talk about the masturbation thing.

I know masturbating is normal But in a relationship it should be feelings kissing hold hands touching and sex are all ways to show you feelings towards someone . Masturbating for the most part is a solo act My point is if he can just masturbate so easy in front of you who else and where else is he doing it .If it smells like a pervert and acts like a pervert well then?

This is soooo creepy. I wouldn't want someone like this around my child, no matter how lonely I was.