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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2008
Posts: 1,822
16 |
#1
I'm scare to go anywhere without my husband, I mean like on a small trip to visit someone. Why? Because the last time he got so mad at me. I'm scare of his reaction. Scare that he will flip out like the last time.
Thank you for listening. |
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Member
Member Since Aug 2005
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 165
18 |
#2
Was the last time a trip that you went on without telling him until afterward?
I had a history of making plans without telling my wife first until it was a day or two before. Like "tomorrow, I'm going to a concert" or something like that. She was irritated about that. What if you tell him about your fear? Would that be something to try? Is he able to empathize with your feelings? __________________ How can anyone be enlightened? Truth is after all so poorly lit. -- Neil Peart |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2008
Posts: 1,822
16 |
#3
No, he knew before I went. A long time before I went.
My husband doesn't just get irritated but much more then that. Much much more. I can't find my words to explain. Maybe there is no words. Thank you so much for replying Bonaire. Thank you! |
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2008
Posts: 15
16 |
#4
Is he scared that you will cheat or find someone? Does he not trust you?
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2008
Posts: 1,822
16 |
#5
My husband has abandonment issues. He is scare I will not come back. So he tries to control all.
Thank you! |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,840
16 |
#6
Im sorry you have to live in that fear, it shouldnt have to be like that.
__________________ Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2006
Posts: 660
17 |
#7
(((justgiving))) (means hug here in pc)
let me first say that i am sorry you are going through this situation. it is a very difficult one, i know because i was in a marriage with a man who is controlling. it is NOT okay for your spouse to control your life. he is not your father, he is suppose to be your PARTNER. and by saying that he has abandonment issues is just providing an excuse for his controlling behavior. i know because i too made many excuses for my soon to be ex-husband. i am sorry if i am coming off to strong, but this hits close to home and makes me angry. it is not fair to you that you cannot go out without him becoming outraged. its his own insecurity that causes his outburst. it is NOT your fault. unfortunately we cannot change people. they have to be willing and must want to change. do you have children together? do you have any plans on addressing this issue probably through counseling or some sorts? i hope that you can do what you need to do for yourself so that your life doesn't become miserable. because after a while, for me at least, it became too overwhelming. and now that i finally asked for a divorce, i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. i've learned that no one has the right to take control of my life, either we are equal or nothing at all. hope whatever decision you make is the best for you and will make you happy. -agony |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2008
Posts: 1,822
16 |
#8
Thank you for your kind words.
(((((((((( BalishBun)))))))))) |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2008
Posts: 1,822
16 |
#9
Thank you (((((((((Agony))))))))))))
I am sorry you went through this but I am happy for you that you are finding your way out. You have courage. Good! I don't know how to deal with all this. Sometime I think I should just go away and other time I think I should give him another chance. Chance after chance. I don't know. I'm confuse with all this. Life is so complicated. I think a lot. Is it him who is complicated or am I? Is it him who is making my life miserable or am I doing this myself? Do I want too much? |
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