scare

I'm scare to go anywhere without my husband, I mean like on a small trip to visit someone. Why? Because the last time he got so mad at me. I'm scare of his reaction. Scare that he will flip out like the last time.

Thank you for listening.

Was the last time a trip that you went on without telling him until afterward?

I had a history of making plans without telling my wife first until it was a day or two before. Like "tomorrow, I'm going to a concert" or something like that. She was irritated about that.

What if you tell him about your fear? Would that be something to try? Is he able to empathize with your feelings?

No, he knew before I went. A long time before I went.

My husband doesn't just get irritated but much more then that. Much much more.

I can't find my words to explain. Maybe there is no words.

Thank you so much for replying Bonaire. Thank you!

Is he scared that you will cheat or find someone? Does he not trust you?

My husband has abandonment issues. He is scare I will not come back. So he tries to control all.

Thank you!

Im sorry you have to live in that fear, it shouldnt have to be like that.

(((justgiving))) (means hug here in pc)

let me first say that i am sorry you are going through this situation. it is a very difficult one, i know because i was in a marriage with a man who is controlling. it is NOT okay for your spouse to control your life. he is not your father, he is suppose to be your PARTNER. and by saying that he has abandonment issues is just providing an excuse for his controlling behavior. i know because i too made many excuses for my soon to be ex-husband. i am sorry if i am coming off to strong, but this hits close to home and makes me angry. it is not fair to you that you cannot go out without him becoming outraged. its his own insecurity that causes his outburst. it is NOT your fault. unfortunately we cannot change people. they have to be willing and must want to change. do you have children together? do you have any plans on addressing this issue probably through counseling or some sorts? i hope that you can do what you need to do for yourself so that your life doesn't become miserable. because after a while, for me at least, it became too overwhelming. and now that i finally asked for a divorce, i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. i've learned that no one has the right to take control of my life, either we are equal or nothing at all. hope whatever decision you make is the best for you and will make you happy.

-agony

Thank you for your kind words.

(((((((((( BalishBun))))))))))

Thank you (((((((((Agony))))))))))))

I am sorry you went through this but I am happy for you that you are finding your way out. You have courage. Good!

I don't know how to deal with all this. Sometime I think I should just go away and other time I think I should give him another chance. Chance after chance. I don't know. I'm confuse with all this. Life is so complicated. I think a lot. Is it him who is complicated or am I? Is it him who is making my life miserable or am I doing this myself? Do I want too much?