[FKMG]

I am here to seek advice and see is someone would be kind to share their experience with being in a relationship with a person affected by Scizoaffective disorder (not sure about the spelling). My mom has been on lithium for the past 20 years and I have consumed most of my life (I am in my early 40's) helping my parents, working hard and college. My heart aches for my mom when "they think their normal" people realize that she has a problem, and treats her disrespectfully because she shakes and gets nervous easily, she works hard to survive. I get furious. She was told she could get on disability years ago but she is blessed with the drive to continue to work (self employed by sales and independent contractor for demo sales - the people you see handing out stuff in walmart) but I help her alot when she struggles with the paperwork, etc.
I have met a wonderful guy who has been diagonosed with scizoaffective disorder, I really feel strongly for him. I must mention he is approximately 10 years younger than I and he is on disability and he was on drugs and alcohol up til 3 years ago. He is very honest about feeling weak concerning "chemical dependency". I have never done drugs so I dont totally understand but I want to understand. I am looking to find others who are in a relationship with someone with this disorder. All my friends state that I should leave him alone but he is so good to me. They state he is lazy but I know this is not true and they dont understand mental illness. I guess I am so openminded because I love my mom so much and she has struggled with mental illness, kidney and breast cancer for so long. I am a very strong willed professional woman. I have been alone for the past 7 years due to a terrible relationship with a "normal" person.
I want to understand his illness better and I want to help him live a more normal life. he wants to go back to work but will he ever be able to go back?? I am not sure and I don't care if he works or not. But I want to help him reach for goals and his dreams. How does it affect children? I realized their is no cure but can he live a more productive life, he wants so much more out of life. At times I think he is too dependent on my attention and I have a really stressful demanding job. Is there a chance for him to be more independent? I have asked him to volunteer or find something to occupy more of his time. I don't fully understand all the drugs he is taking. He takes 4 pills. If anyone can share their experiences with someone in a relationship that has scizoaffective, I would really appreciate it. Thanks and Blessings!

[AAAAA]

I'm sorry that I can't help you on your quest for knowledge on this topic, but I wanted to tell you how much I admire your ability to look beyond this man's mental problems and see the man himself. I wish you both happiness.

[MyBestKids2]

Hi FKMG

Welcome to PC! I too admire all that you have overcome, what a wonderful outlook you have.

I don't have a relationship with anyone that has schizoaffective disorder, but I found this link here on PC that might be helpful. Best of luck to you and your loved ones!

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx4.htm

Dee

[psych16m]

okay. happy to say that i can help u. im in a schizoafective relationship bc im schizophrenic. i'll try to answer ur questions. im only 16 but im schizo so i know some things. i'll answer the best i can with the info u gave me.
okay, here i go.
first off, with the job. it depends on whos hiring him and what he wants to do. some ppl will not hire u if u have schizo for some reason. but some ppl dont care. he can probly get a job from an independent business. they are usually more open-minded.
conscerning children, there really is no conscern. there is a slight increase that ur children may be schizo but its only increased by 1-2%. incredibly small. so small, that i really wouldnt worry about that aspect. and neither of my parents were schizo nor did they have any mental disease. just some info for u.
okay, as u know, there is no cure, but he can live a more productive life. going to the thearpist is really helpful and if he's does his treatments then he can be very productive. so, just stick to ur T suggestions and it'll help greatly.
now, about attention and independence... i need to know more about him. bc there's diff kind of schizophernia. borderline-schizophernia, paranoid-schizophernia and so on. but usually, attention is crucial. like i said, i dont know his specific type but some or more attention-demanding then others. but he can become more indepedent over time. he may just need to know ur love for him and exactly what ur doing at all times. esp with paranoid. but, being distracted by a hobby can help greatly. personally i draw and write. talk to his T or ask me and maybe i can help, but attention can be crucial.
i really hope this helped u. if u need anything else, feel free to PM me. and believe in this. it can work. trust me it can. best of luck to u both.

[FKMG]

Bless you for your knowledge! You are a very mature and knowledgable 16 year old! He does worry about what I am doing and I am concerned that he is jealous over my boss (the owner of my company) and I love my job. My boss is no more than a wonderful respectful BOSS! I am a very private person i think that bothers him, I have never been one to publicize or discuss my personal feelings with everyone. I am finding he does need a lot of attention and I work 7 days a week and I am tyring to give him more attention in different ways. I am pushing for him to do a hobby, he plays music but everyone that is in that area mostly does drugs and drinks and he does not need that, I won't tolerate drugs or drinking and he knows it will end immediately if that happens. We only see each other once a week but talk for hours. I have very strong feelings for him even though we are still at a "friends" stage. He wants more and I do to but I am holding back. I don't want to get hurt and i would never want to hurt anyone. We need more time. I am pushing therapy and I wished he would get connected on the internet so he could be active in a group like this. My friends are so negative, all I can think about he so good to me and respectful....and if my mom was single and alone would someone judge her for her illness or love her for the person she is.... Thank you so much - you have helped me so much!! I may be in touch if you don't mind as we get further and i have more questions. God bless you and I wish you the very best - You are so young and there is so much in this world that you can obtain and I hope that one of your goals in life is to educate others what you are going through and live a very fulfilling productive life. May God send you an angel to share your future!

[FKMG]

Thank you so much for your positive comments! I feel so deeply for him.
My friends are so negative, all I can think about he so good to me and respectful....and if my mom was single and alone would someone judge her for her illness or love her for the person she is.... Thank you so much for the link!!

[FKMG]

Thank you so much for your time! I feel so deeply for him.
My friends are so negative, all I can think about he so good to me and respectful....and if my mom was single and alone would someone judge her for her illness or love her for the person she is.. Blessings to everyone!!

[psych16m]

ur welcome for everything. im glad to help. and if u need anything. just send me a personal message and i'll help the best i can. i hope, overtime, ur friends see the person ur seeing really is and not just his shizo. im sure if they can see past that then they'd love em.
best of luck to u both.

[nightbird]

I just wanted to say that this is a very sweet thread .... how great psych16m is available and willing to answer your questions FKMG ... this is totally great.

peace and love,
nightbird

[Lenny]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
nightbird said:
. how great psych16m is available and willing to answer your questions FKMG ... this is totally great.


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I agree nightbird,,,value is in Truthfully expressed feelings,,not the age of them...

You did good young man...

Lenny