[bebe]

I've been with my bf for almost a year now. And he's weird, but then so am I. He has friends that are girls, which is fine, but he doesn't always tell me til after the fact when they have hung out and things like that.
I'm a Scorpio, so I'm jealous by nature and I've had a crappy past of liars in my life.
What I'm trying to figure out is he really acting strange or am I just going off my past? I've got high anxiety all the time, and he tries to deal with my questioning, he hates that. He is still with me and tries to understand, because part of it is my past and his is similiar-crappy marriage. I also dance so my views on men are pretty tainted.
So I know this is probably all over the place within this post, but I feel like I'm falling apart. I've had depression, eating disorders, PTSD, and anxiety issues before I ever even knew him. I'm lapsing again into some of these problems. I'm either not eating or purposely binging and purging and I'm crying a lot.
I think I've become more attached to him than I was going to let myself, and I know he has emotional attachment to me as well, but sometimes he can be a sucky bf.
So, right now I'm home-he was out all day with his friend and is going snowboarding tomorrow, I'm crying on and off. I wanted to crash out at his place tonight and then he was irritated about that because he has to get up early to go. Then he said come over and I said no, I don't want you to pissed that I got "my way". We do spend a lot of time together and I think it was more time than we both thought would happen. I lived about two hours from him when we first met and then this summer I moved to the same town and we don't live together, but see each other almost everyday.

Bottom line, I feel so damn alone, I've got some friends, I hate my job, and I'm so in love, but we both have trust and emotional issues. I'm so unmovitivated to do a damn thing for myself and I know I'm sicker everyday. I think he has caught on with the not eating properly, and even asked if I was anorexic because someone he knows thinks I am.

So, I've rambled and I hope I've made some sense, I needed to get that out. WHEW.

[shaddix]

Sorry you're having a bad time :<

*hug*