[annsumm]

HI
I ve been going out with a guy for about 6 months, its not very serious but I see him 2-3 times per week and we have been intimate. I am 39, divorced, he is 44 and also divorced. I know for a fact that he uses online dating sites and I have told him that I am not happy with this and I feel like I am just filling a gap for him until something better comes along. However, he continues to use them even though he has told me he took his profile off. I don't really want to confront him yet again because then it looks like I am the one with the problem and have been snooping (which I admit, i have!). Bottom line is that I don't 100% trust him with my heart. I have feelings for him and he says he really likes being with me (i do believe this bit). There are other things that spell 'not right' too - he NEVER calls me (always text/email), he hasn't introduced me to his friends or family and I feel that the relationship isn't moving forward at all and often wonder if he is using me for sex or until the real thing comes along. Other peoples viewpoints on all of this would be appreciated because this is eating away at me and consuming all of my thoughts. Does anyone think that I am being over-anxious because thats how he will make me feel if I was to confront him. Thank you.

[sabby]

You say that the relationship is not very serious. Is this because neither one of you have expressed that you want it to be more than casual? If you are wanting more than a casual relationship with bennies and haven't expressed that with him, then he will never get it with subtleties.

It sounds to me like this is a communication issue....or should I say, lack there of? If you have indeed communicated with him that you would like your relationship to go to the next level and he hasn't bitten on that, then you have every right to wonder what his intentions are. Ask him!!!


sabby

[annsumm]

We have spoken about it all, several times. Ive expressed that although I want to take things slowly and not rush into a heavy relationship, I don't want to see other people and expect the same of him, I have told him this but its like he doesn't hear me or doesn't want to hear me !

Originally Posted by _sabby_

You say that the relationship is not very serious. Is this because neither one of you have expressed that you want it to be more than casual? If you are wanting more than a casual relationship with bennies and haven't expressed that with him, then he will never get it with subtleties.

It sounds to me like this is a communication issue....or should I say, lack there of? If you have indeed communicated with him that you would like your relationship to go to the next level and he hasn't bitten on that, then you have every right to wonder what his intentions are. Ask him!!!


sabby

[Doh2007]

Would you want to know if he's not that into you?

[annsumm]

Originally Posted by Doh2007

Would you want to know if he's not that into you?

Yes I would for sure. Are you saying thats what it sounds like ?

[Doh2007]

It occurred to me. I read that book by the writer from Sex in the City. He says, and men seem to concur, that a man who is in love with a woman will move Heaven and Earth to be with her.

Maybe you could make it harder for him to see you. Men often lose interest when the conquest is made. It's easy to say, harder to do, but protect yourself. You said the relationship is grinding you down. Maybe you need a break.

I know it's hard. You have my best wishes.