Getting back together after "break"

[WARNING! Possibly boring thread! Read at your own risk]

We weren't separated due to fights and the such, so please think before you answer, ok? :/ (sorry if that sounds offensive)
Here are the details:

Me and (anonymous for no reason) were doing all right at the start of the year. She was diagnosed with depression, panic attacks, and fibromyalgia. I hadn't gone to see any mental health professionals even though I had it in the top of my to-do list because of short-term memory problems. So, she wanted to take a break to find mental stability after finding out that her problems didn't have perfect solutions and that she'll be coping with them for the rest of her life. I gave her the space, and while we weren't seeing each other publicly, her first ex took advantage of her mental instability by "sheltering" her, and we were through at mid-January... Less than two weeks later, he dumped her, and I dared not get close to the subject.

So, months after, I brought up some questions about how she was doing, and that I couldn't be happy without her, that I didn't care if during our break she saw shelter under someone else (plus it's a touchy subject), and the such. She still said she needed space, so I kept giving it to her. We used to talk through the phone all the time and stay up-to-date with whatever happened in our lives, even though we saw each other every day. We didn't get together again, and then stuff happened.

I thought I was doing good in college, so I didn't check up on my grades. This is COMPLETELY my fault for irresponsibility. I realized at the end of my second semester in college, that my grades would earn me a suspension. I made all the arrangements to move to a new college where I could start all over again (it was my first year in that one, so starting from zero was my favorite choice), and I evaded a suspension perfectly. Sad thing is... I left her at my last college... And I have no internet, cell phone, or car/money in which I could use to talk to her, so we're practically cut-off. We talk from time to time when I get on school computers, but it's not the same as face-to-face, or hearing her voice and laugh...

So, this is my problem: I promised her I wouldn't fall in love with anyone else (not like I can, since all I can think of is her whenever I think of love), but I'm scared someone might love her the way I could never do... And with lack of communication comes lack of trust, so what's preventing her from doing what she thinks I might be doing, which would be being with someone else? She told me that she had no interest in relationships last time the topic came up, because she feels she's volatile and might become aggressive towards everyone she comes close with (not violently, of course, just short tolerance... Althought she is amazing at hiding her frustration), so she practically gave me her word that she wouldn't be seeing anyone.

So, when I change back to the other college, I have no idea what I'll do to try to win her heart back. I can only hope that she still has some of the feelings she had for me, and that no one will take this chance at happiness from me... Truthfully, I hadn't been essentially "happy" until I met her (because of my own mental problems) and we started going out, and when we broke up, I couldn't really be as happy as before. She's the first person in the world I talked to about my problems in order to show her she's not alone, and I'm the first person in the world she talked about her problems to.

So... I'm sorry if this is stupid in and of itself, but: How can I alleviate some of this stress and fear? How can I assure myself that I will try my best to win her heart back, and possibly succeed? I don't want to be without her... Over 7 months after the breakup, and I still feel love only towards her...

If she is still at the college (or wherever she is) you could write letters, versus phone/email. I know it's old fashioned, but letters are, number one, cheaper, but number two more personal. They are something she can hold onto when you aren't there, she can put it in her purse and take with her, pull out throughout the day to know you are thinking of her. It is so hard when you've found your soul mate and you are separated for any reason at all. I've been separated from mine for 17 years and am still devasted by it. Speaking only for myself, in this age of technology (which I love, don't get me wrong), I would melt if I were to get an old fashioned love letter that I could read right before bed or when ever. It would also show that you put time and effort into it. Sorry I can't offer more, but I can offer an ear (or eye to read, rather).

That's a good suggestion, actually. Letters didn't even cross my mind, and yeah, she can take them out and read whenever she needs a little "boost" in her moods. I wonder why, even though I write everyday in a journal, I never thought of writing to her? :/

Now to find out what her mailing address was... I forgot, heheheh. I'm sure she's never gotten mail from anyone before like this!

Once you get her address, she'll hopefully treasure them even more. See, you've already smiled once today. It'll get better!

Still, I'm fearing she might think that I'm not giving her space by bringing love back up... I don't want to ruin my chances and stuff, but at the same time I don't want someone to take advantage of her now that she's alone over there...

Worries, they come from everywhere and linger in my head until i get the job done... Hopefully, I'll muster the will-power to find her address and write her the note of the ages. I already have an idea of what to write, and I'll include a picture and something extra that i haven't thought of yet!... Hope that she won't freak out like my mind keeps telling me.

As hard as it is, don't mention love yet. Tell her you're thinking about her often, wondering if she's ok, remembering how happy you've made each other and that you'll be writing periodically to make sure she's ok and to make sure she knows she can count on you no matter what. Trust me--easier said than done! That's why I'm "cantstopcrying"! Honestly, though, it may be better to use words like, "care deeply", "you're in my thoughts" "holding you in my heart", words that convey love without the pressure-filled word.

Hmm, very nice advice. Subtle and avoiding the main concept, but still conveying the message in a clear and absolute manner... I'll do it!

Seriously, your advice got a load off of my head. Now if I can find someone to lend me their cellphone and ask one of our mutual close friends about her mailing address... At least i'm not gonna be on it for over 5 minutes, compared to talking to her directly! (I have a whopping $450.00+- bill on my cell phone... No idea how it happened)

I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope you can find her address. If nothing else maybe if you know the dorm she's living in at college (if that applies) you can just address it to Her Name, BLANK College, BLANK Dorm, etc. Good luck.

GREAT!! GREAT!! GREAT ADVICE! I know if I really loved the person I was getting letters from, I would be in a flutter waiting for the next and hoping for that perfect moment to hear those words I long to hear...