[brmabr]

Hello, how are you doing? I hope this message finds you well.
I have search the web looking for someone who has some what of my issues and have found nothing like mine. So here we go.
MY WIFE IS A THERAPIST.My wife is a great Therapist I know this all too well.She came back from the West Cost from A school in Northern Cal.very well to do school( I heard it was free to go there once apon a time)and with what she took out there and what she has picked up on, is hard from time to time for me to deal with.To put it to you straight she will go left as I go right sometimes I will go to the middle or to her side, Anyhow let's get to the meat of this.
I am thirtyone years old and my wife is thirtythree years old we have been married know for one year and five months.When I met my wife things were fine even though I knew right off the bat she was going to have a strong personal strong hold on the effects of EMOTIONS and with in this time period she would make sure I knew what it means in full.
She feels that almost everything needs work on or worked out.I have a very shady past as she likes to put it.I have felt from the beginning that the past is the past and why would I bring something like that up.I lived it and don't really want to relive it however in her eyes I'm holding back not being able to have real talks for that she feels that she doesn't know me.Bring up my past only gets me in trouble and if by chance it doesn't than we go way deeper then I thought and the next thing I know is I feel backed in a corner.It's the WHYS,WHEN,WHAT,HOW,than once you think you have answer all that could be she finds more. Than wonders why I'm not coming with info on the fly.I want my wife not a therapist as my partner in life.I know in her heart she is only tyring to help and I do feel she loves me deeply.
I don't know anymore

Will Love Hold The Test Of Time?

[sabby]

Hi brmabr and welcome to PC.

What you explain sounds quite frustrating for you...I would feel the same way I'm sure. I hear you loud and clear that you want your marriage to be a marriage and a life, not a theraputic relationship with your wife.

In her zest to want to be a good therapist, she may be overstepping her boundaries with you. I'm sure her intent is good, but I can well imagine how difficult it can be for you to be on the receiving end of her "help".

Could you ask her nicely to leave her "therapist" duties checked at the door when she comes home? Let her know you love her and want to have a good marriage but to be constantly analyzed by her makes you feel uncomfortable at the least.

Maybe asking her to write down that which she thinks you need specific help on instead of bringing it up in conversation. This gives you the opportunity to look over the list, think about it in your time, and if there is a problem you feel needs to be worked on, you can then acquire your own therapist (someone you find on your own) to help you work through your issues. Until that time, you have every right to insist on boundaries when it comes to your wife analyzing you. I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you.

I wish you both well!


sabby