[Rhombus]

I told my BEST friend about how serious my dad's health is (large tumour in kidney, possibly cancerous) and after inquiring about how he got there and details on his medical condition...all she said was ok? OK!!!!

Gosh, I can't control my anger...we're not acquiantences, you're my BEST friend and you couldn't even say "I'm sorry about your dad" or "I hope he feels better"? You say "ok" if someone asks you how you feel, not when someone is falling apart.

I don't know why I bother with friends at all.

[youOme]

Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to say or theres even those occasional word slips. She's still your friend, she just made a mistake. Your going through some hard things and may be emotional.

I hope things DO get better for you and your dad.

[(JD)]

It could be your story about your dad reminded her of some bad stuff? I'm sorry she didn't respond the way you needed her too, though.

I do hope your father gets well soon.
Take care of yourself!

[digdug]

I would give your friend a second chance. I don't think most of us are programmed right to deal with tramautic news. I have a very strange tendency to laugh when I hear such things...I don't laugh, because I can control it, but that's what I feel like doing.

There's a certain surreality to hearing bad news that borders on the absurd. You know, most of us worry so much about how our hair looks or whatever and then we hear that someone close to us (or someone close to someone close to us, in your case), is sick, dying, etc., and it's like, suddenly there's real news to confront. I mean, it's hard to shift gears properly to process that.

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with telling this person how you feel if you think they're still not saying the right things.

[Rhombus]

At least if she laughed I would know she had some emotional response. I hate the word "ok"...it's so complacent. She showed no emtion, I wanted to slap her. No one ever supports me.

[digdug]

Originally Posted by Rhombus

At least if she laughed I would know she had some emotional response. I hate the word "ok"...it's so complacent. She showed no emtion, I wanted to slap her. No one ever supports me.

Mmm, I see what you mean. Actually I've heard that the laugh reflex is not uncommon, because as you say it is a demonstration of emotion, even if it's not really appropriate.

I'd still give this person a second chance, but if you are as mad as you sound, definitely make your feelings heard (though perhaps start moderately, as there is still a chance your friend doesn't know how to react).

Careful about saying things like "no one ever supports me". I'm not saying it's not true - I do know the feeling - but what I mean is that don't let such thoughts eat you up, as they so often can. Talk to a T or someone else if you feel yourself in a spiral.

I meant to offer best wishes to you and your father as well. My Dad had double bypass surgery a few years back...not as hard to deal with as cancer, but still some pretty hard and hectic times. Good luck.

[pachyderm]

Maybe by saying OK she was saying she accepted all the facts just as you laid them out for her? I wasn't there so I can't tell -- just thinking of possibilities.

[Rhombus]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Maybe by saying OK she was saying she accepted all the facts just as you laid them out for her? I wasn't there so I can't tell -- just thinking of possibilities.

So its perfectly okay my dad has a bleeding tumour in his abdomen?

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Rhombus

So its perfectly okay my dad has a bleeding tumour in his abdomen?

What I was saying is that she might have been honoring you by accepting all that you told her, and thus validating you. Acceptance does not mean the same as approval. I was not there and did not hear her tone of voice and cannot tell for sure.