[i_love_chicken]

i've been with this guy for about 10 months and 2 weeks now, at first it was all fine, but then, i started getting scared, i would always think he was cheating me, but he always says he doesnt have the guts, i do trust him, but after about 2 months he told me that he thought 2 other girls were 2 "fit" but not fitter than me. i got so scared after that i tried to stop him from even talking to girls, when he has to go near a girl i ask him who, what, when, how why... who was it, what was it about, when was it, how did u have to do it, why? but he would always say it was nothing and he loves me not them and he would say that he would never of even dream about cheating, before we started seeing each other, i never really took much notice of other people other than my friends, but when we met, i took no notice of my friends it was as if i had left them for good, i still try to talk to them but most of them dont like my b/f so its hard sometimes. when he has friends over he doesnt tell me, he thinks that i will get angry, just beacuse of one of his friends i dont like beacause he tried to spit us up, and ever since then he doesnt tell me if one of his friends comes over, i do trust him but i dont think he knows it, even if i tell him.... What should i do???

[Perna]

I don't think we can control other people; who they are friends with, who they are attracted to and interested in and make comments about. All we can control is ourselves and how we feel about ourselves.

I think you need to become better friends with yourself so what your boyfriend is doing in his life isn't quite as important. Let him be who he is; he may or may not stay interested in you, that isn't something you can control. But if you are interested in yourself and doing interesting things, that is most likely to attract others. Try to relax about your boyfriend and what he's doing and he'll be more likely to tell you about it if he doesn't feel you are going to judge or disapprove of him or his friends.

No one else outside of the relationship can break you up if neither you nor your boyfriend want to be broken up so just "ignore" the other people. Work to become secure in who you are and then you won't need so much outside validation and other people telling you about their own business. If you really trust your boyfriend, you won't be so concerned with what he's doing when he's not with you; he's just living his life as you should be when you're not with him.

[sabby]

(((((((((( Chicken ))))))))))))

I'm sorry I didn't see this and respond before now.

I'm thinking back to the time I was your age and dating my boyfriend who I thought the sun rose and set on. Evidently he felt the same way about me. In the beginning, we only had time for the two of us, shunning our friends and just being together.

Soon, it became obvious to us that we both missed our friends and wanted to spend some time with them. It was awkward in the beginning....when we were away from each other we wanted to be together or to at least know what the other was doing and with whom.

It made for some difficult times when we were spending separate time away from each other with our friends in the beginning. But soon, we learned to trust one another and it really worked to our advantage. It gave us time to be with our friends and when we did spend time together, we had much more fun and much more to talk about with one another. Some of our friends ended up meeting the others' friends and we became a group of friends too....that was pretty cool.

I think it's important to feel comfy in our relationships. If we have some self esteem, if we have some trust and if we have some understanding that we are social people who need our friends as well as the ones we love in our lives, things can really be ok!

Wishing you well hon.


sabby

(((Dearest Chicken my little neice))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Its hard to understand when your young((i remember))) you both need friends
They may not be the same ones either. Which is ok..... He needs time to himself and acually you do too....

Trust is a very important part of a relationship......If you really love this boy...then trust in him and yourself.......
You can not have love with out trust....
Also hon he needs time to himself....it ok for him to be him and you to be you...
Weather its with his friends or just off on his own. Does not mean he cares any less for you.
Let him know you believe in him if you can.....
Remember just because he needs time on his own does not mean he cares for you anyless.......

love your aunt muffy

[i_love_chicken]

in our lunch break we go down to the field and our friends are down there he see's his friends having fun and so do i and then i say why dont you go play? and he always says he wants to be with me but on friday we were sitting in a group of about 10 and then i stood up and started talking to my friends and i looked back and he were talking to one of his, i was really happy when i saw that. next friday i have a trip to go on during lunch so i wont be with him at lunch i think i will be hard but i think that we can have that 35 minutes away from each other i just hope he's okay thats all but in general me and my b/f are getting better