[Matt in WI]

My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 3 and a half years. I have problems giving affection and intimacy which we tried to work through but I didn't try hard enough and she wanted to leave me. I told her I would work on these things harder and even asked her what I could do as well as did some research. We eventually decided to stay together and work on it. A few days after that she came to me and said she thinks she has feelings for other women and is very confused. She has never been with another woman. She has had past relationships where she was cheated on numerous times. I always treated her with respect and would never think about doing something like that to her. I want to help her through this confusion and was hoping I could get some good advice here. Any help and advice is greatly appreciated.

[ncguynva]

Matt
I have been in your shoes before. My fiance at the time thought that I didnt love her because I wasn't showing her enough affection. I reassured her that I still loved her, but it was not enough. I told her it was me, because she was having doubts that I was not attracted to her anymore. I thought about it more and more and I found the reason I was not affectionate as much as she wanted. I worked on it and she worked on what made my sex drive go down some, but it was not enough. I say look in yourself to see why you are the way you are.
i found out it was because my parents were not affectionate to each other. Also, my spouse disappointed me by promising things and not doing them. I didnt know it but it affected my sex drive and it drove us apart. Stop the wedge my friend.

[Matt in WI]

Thanks for the help and the words of advice. Its nice to know that others have gone through this. I gave her a few days to have some time alone and we had a nice conversation last night. She came to the conclusion that it was my lack of affection (which I apologized for.) We have decided we both have some things to work on internally and we are going to take some time apart to work on them. Neither of us want this relationship to end so we are going to reconnect in a few months to see where we are at. Thanks again.