[jbug]

I am so angry right now I could spit bricks.

I just asked him for $3 to mail something as I didn't anticipate that I would need to mail this. He got all hot and bothered and lectured me on how I need to plan for these things etc. I am not psychic and can't not always know when I am going to need to mail things or need money. Sometimes things come up that money is needed in between times that I get money. I am only allowed to ask for money once a week. I have to be psychic and know what my money needs for the week are going to be. If I don't anticipate something or ask for too much I get a lecture.

I thought we were doing so good and then he gets mad. I got my money on Friday and told him what I was going to need and he said now you are going to use up all your money at the beginning of the month like you always do and then we are going to have to help you out. All I had asked for was money for gas, groceries and a pair of pants. Geez its my money and its not like I go to the casino and bet it all on the house.

I am so angry right now.

Jbug

[sunrise]

That sounds very frustrating, jbug. As long as your father manages your money, you will probably have such yucky incidents. Do you have a plan for getting back to managing your own finances? If not, maybe having a graduated plan would help you feel more empowered. Start small? I think it would be very demoralizing to have to "ask" for money. Could you work out a system where you get paid a certain amount by your father once a week, without your having to "ask" for it? You would just get paid automatically every Friday, or something like that. If you have extra, you could put it in the bank for unexpected things like mailing the package.

[jbug]

I'm on disability and my dad is my payee and he seems to think that means controlling every single little penny and making it squeak as it gets spent.

I know he thinks he is doing his job but it drives me nuts. I have tried several times to ask him to ease off but he won't. I don't want him as my payee and have asked him if I could have someone else but he won't let me.

All my life I have had to deal with his controlling my life and it's not just me that he controls he does it with everyone. My mom is getting it too.

I envy my sister she lives in Germany and is married so she doesn't have to deal with him.

Jbug

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by jbug

I'm on disability and my dad is my payee

I don't understand what that means. Is there an official way to prove you are competent to manage finances and become your own payee? I'm sorry your Dad is so controlling. That must be very hard to take.

[jbug]

My doctor signed papers saying that I am not able to manage my money and that I had to have someone do it for me. So my dad does it. I wish someone else could be that person and when I have suggested it dad threw a gasket.

A payee is for someone that can't manage their money due to disability.

They have to have their doctor sign off that they can't do it themselves and then they get one. My doctor and T determined a long time ago that I need one and when it came time to see if I still needed one recently it was determined I still needed one.

Jbug