I'm upset

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 08:36 PM

I guess I have no close friends. No one wants to say intimate things around me.

bebop · Nov 13, 2008, 08:43 PM

hon it isn't that hon. sometimes people just want one or 2 people to see what they have to say. some people are just closer like that. try not to take it too personal.

gimmeice · Nov 13, 2008, 08:46 PM

(((((((((((((((( greenleaves ))))))))))))))))

I am sorry that you are feeling this way but bebop is right.

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 08:55 PM

I just get extremely sensitive about rejection.

I can't help if.

I want close friends too.

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 09:00 PM

Help, I'm so upset.

bebop · Nov 13, 2008, 09:00 PM

I don't have close friends in my life outside here. I know how it feels hon. I am thankful I have pc.

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 09:03 PM

I have absolutely no close friends.

I have none in real life and now I discover I don't have any here on PC either.

I'm so upset.

gimmeice · Nov 13, 2008, 09:05 PM

(((((((((((( greenleaves )))))))))))))) I am sorry that you are going through this, feel free to pm me anytime hon.

krzyk101 · Nov 13, 2008, 09:10 PM

I hope that you begin to feel better soon.

I can relate, as my close friends are my cat and my mother and it can seem awful lonely at times yet I see you have many friends here. I hope once again this feeling of lonlieness passes soon and that you feel better. When I get upset over not having close friendships I try and think of the things I do have and tell myself that this too shall pass.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in these feelings of lonlieness that come into the mind. Best wishes and be good to yourself. Krzyk

Malachite · Nov 13, 2008, 09:16 PM

Dear Greenleaves,

It would be a great honor, to be your friend! Please, be my friend!

Larry

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 09:25 PM

I have friends, but I want close friends. Some I can talk to about anything and someone who will tell me stuff too.

I don't have any close friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krzyk101

I hope that you begin to feel better soon.

I can relate, as my close friends are my cat and my mother and it can seem awful lonely at times yet I see you have many friends here. I hope once again this feeling of lonlieness passes soon and that you feel better. When I get upset over not having close friendships I try and think of the things I do have and tell myself that this too shall pass.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in these feelings of lonlieness that come into the mind. Best wishes and be good to yourself. Krzyk

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 09:28 PM

Maybe it is my own fault. Maybe I don't know how to make friends.

I'm just upset. I want friends, but I can't seem to make any close ones.

silver_queen · Nov 13, 2008, 09:32 PM

You gain that through time, and through talking with ppl. Not just talking AT them but talking WITH them, so the convo works both ways. Both help each other, both gain trust. Friendship is based on trust and that's only gained through knowing somebody a while ...

I'm NOT saying you are like this, but I AM saying you can't expect people to be friends with you instantly. People aren't just 'friends' with somebody for no reason, there is always some reason ...

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 09:43 PM

I'm just very bad at making friends. I think I'm lacking social skills or something.

I'm so upset.

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 09:46 PM

I think my main problem is I don't know how to talk to people when there are lots of people around. I can be very supportive, but only when it's just me and another person.

For some reason I shut down when there's a bunch of people around.

I just let the other people help the person in distress.

But if were chat one on chat, I think I'm pretty good.

Only problem is finding people to chat one on one with.

And no one wants to do that with me cuz they don't trust me.

silver_queen · Nov 13, 2008, 09:52 PM

Well, you have to get to know somebody before you can have a comfortable one-to-one convo with them. Otherwise it's boring on both sides because neither know what to say and what to ask for fear of being too inquisitive.

It might not be that they don't trust you, but rather that they don't know what they can say to you ...

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 09:59 PM

I talk to people one on one at another message board. I really like talking that way, on chat. I don't post too much. I prefer chatting.

Even at the other place if there are lots of people in chat, I just shut down.

I've even met some of them in real life.

I think maybe I have some friends there, but they are never as close as with other people. It always seems like they have other closer friends.

I think it's hard for me to have friends at PC because PC is so big. I get lost. I can't keep track of all the names. It's so confusing.

silver_queen · Nov 13, 2008, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greenleaves

I talk to people one on one at another message board. I really like talking that way, on chat. I don't post too much. I prefer chatting.

Even at the other place if there are lots of people in chat, I just shut down.

I've even met some of them in real life.

I think maybe I have some friends there, but they are never as close as with other people. It always seems like they have other closer friends.

I think it's hard for me to have friends at PC because PC is so big. I get lost. I can't keep track of all the names. It's so confusing.

Write down people's names?

And it might be your own perception that they are more distant with you, rather than it actually being true ...

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 10:10 PM

I think I'm starting to feel a bit better now.

At first I thought I was upset because I was excluded, but then talking about it with you guys I think it goes deeper than that. It triggered something in me.

I think this goes way way back to my childhood. I remember being really upset when my parents opened this box with my sister and I wasn't there to see it. It was just a box for this clothes rack, but I was soooo upset.

I asked to see the box, but they threw it away. I remember I spent many many nights crying to sleep because I didn't get to open the box with my Mom and sister. To this day, I still remember the bad horrible feelings.

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 10:12 PM

Man, here come the tears.

Perzephone · Nov 13, 2008, 10:14 PM

There are things I don't share with my closest friends... some things are just meant to be private. Just because someone doesn't bombard you with their deepest feelings or their bedroom antics doesn't mean you're not a close friend to them.

I think in this world of blogging & internet anonymity, privacy is slowly becoming a thing of the past. For some things, though, it's a tradition that should be kept alive.

Zorah · Nov 13, 2008, 10:17 PM

{{{{{{{{{{Green}}}}}}}}}}

sorry you were triggered, but tears can be healing, we have cried an ocean ourselves

Greenleaves · Nov 13, 2008, 10:21 PM

I wish I didn't get triggered.

It feel so bad.

Any kind of perceived rejection can trigger me. I'm so sensitive. I hate this.

kim_johnson · Nov 13, 2008, 11:37 PM

I think of you as my friend. I've found you really supportive and caring for me to talk to when I'm feeling bad or lonely.

I notice that you are quieter when there are more people around too. I think that just how you have some anxiety talking to people when there are a few of them around some others have that, too. And so they feel more comfortable to talk when there are only a couple others who they already feel close to. Maybe you get some of that, too?

I don't deal with rejection very well, either. Hate it... I think there is a bit of a culture here where sometimes people just seem to want to talk to people who they know already. I feel sad about that (wish they would give others a chance) but guess it is due to their own insecurity, really. And... Kinda sad for them too cause they are cutting themselves off from a potential source of support. You hang in there...

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