[cuddlgrl]

well this is a long story, its been going on for waaay too long and its driving me crazy.
i have been in a long distance relationship for four years and i cant do it anymore. i wish there was a pill to make the hurt and heartache go away.
i lived in ca. until 4 years ago, i was seperating from my husband and was going thru a really hard time, and i met a man who was married also. i was in very bad shape and had nowhere to go with my son, who was in 2nd grade at the time and he had a friend who had 2 rooms to rent out and i moved in there, i was so happy, its so expensive in ca. and i wasnt working. anyway, i thought that this man and i might see eachother sometimes, he used to sit and cry about all the problems him and his wife were having, and i could relate going through my own heartache. anyway the next thing i know, he is at the house with me 24 7 and he leaves his wife, his youngest daughter was 16, but it seems he was having fun playing with both of us, he had her picture on his phone and seemed to enjoy my jealousy, so i moved out of state, and it has been so hard eversince.
iwas telling myself that if i left he would probably go back to his family, but that never happened, his wife ended up moving to az. and now they dont even talk anymore. the thing that is bothereing me is that ive been heartsick ever since i left, i miss him so terribly, but i keep trying to make him understand that im in a lease on my apartment, i cant break my lease, i have to leave around nov. when my lease is up. i have been telling him this foir 4 years!!
hewas here for 11 months last yearand we could have saved and moved back together. all he ever does is tell me about how lonely he is and how much he misses me but he has never sat down and come up with a plan about how i could get back, like a concrete plan, never said, when are you coming, how can i help?
he makes good money, i dont understand, i have a 14 year old now and he just seems so happy to have this telephone relationship and i cant take it anymore. i dont understand, he calls me and says, hi baby, i miss you, im your man, what about"when are you going to be here? " have stopped talking to him, i cant take it. i tried to sell my furniture, hes telling me just to leave everything and come out there. he stays with friends, i guess he just expects me and my son to sleep in my car.
im serious, he calls me constantly saying, hi baby im so lonely. i figure if he was a man he would be working his but off to help get me out there. am i wrong, should i just go and worry about everything later? i dont know, im so confused and i dont want to be heartbroken anymore
its like hes just perfectly happy to talk on the phone forever, im truly confused, and i cant move all by myself.
i think i need to just get on with my life, i dont want to cry anymore