[katebabe622]

i wasn't sure where to put this ... but, i'm 15 years old and i'm not sure what i am. whether it be bipolar, depression, or just anger issues, no one knows. anyway, it took me until this past summer to get my first kiss. i always feel like no one will ever want me because i've never had a boyfriend before, i always feel like i don't fit in anywhere, and on top of that i have severe eczema and i'm really tall and not fat, but not skinny .... i have friends in almost every "group" of people, but i feel like i'm not really part of anything. maybe it's just low confidence, but i'm honestly afraid no one will ever want me. i feel rejected all the time.

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((((( katebabe )))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry that you are feeling so bad, don't put so much pressure on yourself to have a boyfriend. Please take this time of your life to work on you and your future, if you are true to yourself I am sure other things will fall into place.

[PleaseHelp]

((((((((((((((((((((Katebabe)))))))))))))))))))))))

I agree with Gimmeice.

I was always awkward in my teens, heck I still feel awkward! And so you know I didn't get my first kiss until I was 16. And I didn't have a boyfriend until college! And I've never felt like I fit in.

I'm just letting you know that you are not alone!

[mountainhigh]

My sons grlfriend has hives that have coverd her face and neck for years and they are not sure what causes it. She is a delightfull girl and he is a handsome young man who loves her for what she is not what she looks like. I am very proud of them both.

Just do the very best you can in all you do and be patient because there is someone out there for you!

[DePressMe]

katebabe, I can relate to having friends from all different groups, but not really fitting into any of the groups as a whole. It kinda made me feel like I was in limbo. I tried to focus on building friendships with a few of my peers, so I would have at least a few deeper friendships. Hang in there....

[myoasis89]

I had troubles making friends as well. I belonged to different groups. i guess I looked at it from a different perspective. I saw myself as well rounded and accepting of all people. I'm not closed-minded and I can understand different points of view...I know it's tough to be the odd one out but sometimes it's great because you are unique...and someday you will appreciate this uniqueness. I didn't ahve a bf until I was 18. I was glad of this because I didn't get into any relationships that didn't have any meaning. My relatioship lasted 9 months and I had some really fond memories. Now I am on my second at 19 and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I adore him and he makes me feel special. I can see at 15 how you feel awkward...but soon enough...if you stay being yourself...wonderful things will happen for you...hope this helps

[e_sort]

just want to add that every teenage girl at some point thinks she is the only one never to have done something or only one with her problem, whatever it is, and it is just about never true.

I don't mean to be dismissive of you because I honestly remember being your age and how screwed up I felt. But the thing is that teenagers feel weird and freakish all the time, and they don't realize how many other people there are that have felt or do feel like them. How can they know? they have very little experience of the world. they haven't lived through these years and then talked to their now-adult friends about just how hard and weird it was.

so just try to take my word for it. you will not feel this way forever, and people will want you and probably there are plenty who are glad to have you right now.

also i didn't get my first kiss till I was 15 either. i have a nice husband now.

[theama]

Katebabe, I know how you feel - I remember being 15 very well (it was only 7 years ago anyway!). I felt the exact same way when I was your age.
I had always been overweight, and all the other girls were hanging out with boys and making out in the closet at parties and dating and stuff - but no one wanted to date me. I lost the weight, and when I was 14 I had my first kiss... with a 20 year old man. Then I lost my virginity... to a 20 year old man.
Point is, I was so desperate to know that I COULD be wanted by someone that I ended up acting like an idiot and I paid the price for it later.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 16, and it took a serious event to get me to that point.
I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 15/16, and that was only because I wanted to be wanted by someone - anyone. I broke up with him four months later lol. (I got engaged at 19 btw!)
I also never "fit in" anywhere, despite having all sorts of friends, and everybody at school thought I was a freak.

I wish that somebody had told me when I was 14/15 what I'm about to tell you, 'cause then I'd have time to accept it and maybe I wouldn't have been as stubborn then as I am now.
Never let someone else control how you feel. Don't allow yourself to have your day/week/year ruined because someone doesn't treat you the way you wish they would treat you. Don't let your life evolve around love/finding love/being loved (that's how you get your heart broken); YOU and your friends should be the most important things in your life right now. Don't waste your time trying to "fit in" and be "accepted" - spend your time finding out who you are! To hell with the rest! Don't rush it with boys just because you want to feel loved; QUALITY over quantity girl!
You WILL find a special someone, and NO you won't have to wait until you're 40. He will come, and he will be worth the wait.

Oh and, don't think that your school is the only place you can meet someone. In fact, I'd ignore everyone there (except friends). I never dated anyone from my junior high or high school; those kind of "relationships" are just for show and just for the sake of being with someone - and they end really, really fast.
Get active in your community; I joined the punk scene where I live - it was a lot of fun! Occupying houses, getting surrounded by the police, fighting "the man", meeting hot punk rockers with mowhawks that smelled like beer and vomit... best years of my life! xD
Find out who you are and what you're interested in - and get active.

Being tall is not a problem. I'm fat and it's never been a problem. The only ones who have issues with that are immature teenage boys in your school - who should be ignored 'cause they're really not worth your time. I know plenty of tall girls and it's never been a problem for them either. Out of curiosity, how tall are you? If you are taller than 5'8 you could look into modelling (runway or catalogue) or sports like basketball.
My mom used to tell me whenever I complained about how I could never find any shoes that fit; it's not your feet that are too big, it's the shoes that are too small.
The same goes to you; it's not you who are too tall, it's the others who are too short!

As for the exzema, what kind is it and where on your body is it? Can it be covered with makeup? You should see a dermatologist in my opinion, they can help you with even the toughest skin problems. My mother has sjögrens syndrome, and one of the symptoms is extremely dry eyes and skin. Her eyelids would be red and like sandpaper and she could never wear makeup, and she tried all sorts of products. Then she saw a dermatologist and after a lot of back and forth and testing, he came up with a cream that helped her A LOT; her skin isn't dry anymore and she can wear makeup as much as she wants.
Go for that!

I know this is a long post, but hopefully it helped somewhat. Feel free to PM me!

PS. Trust me on this one, once you get out of high school EVERYTHING will change.

[katebabe622]

thank you so much to all of you. i know that i just need to wait, but it feels great to hear people say it. i also know that i need to accept myself and forget the rest. i try, but it's hard ... and theama -- i'm 5'9" and my eczema is mostly on my legs, but occasionally on my arms as well. i used to play basketball, but got cut from my school team cause it's all political bull. but anyway, thank you all sooo much. i you all for caring

[theama]

Katebabe, come to Norway - girls here are between 5'7 and 5'11, and the boys are between 6'2 and 6'6 The land of giants!
I'm only 5'7, I'm short