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#1
Jan 17, 2005, 05:10 PM
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I have been dating the same guy for over 8 months. Starting out we would only see each other once a week or so. Well, the past month we spend every free moment together. Is this healthy??? I would think not in the first month or so of a relationship but since we have been dating awhile I didn't know if it wasn't any different or not.
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#2
Jan 17, 2005, 05:15 PM
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I think to have a healthy relationship you need SOME time away from each other... I dated my ex for three years and we started to HATE each other because we spent soo much time together. Maybe it's different for you, but be sure to keep your own interests and don't feel like you HAVE to hang out with him every waking moment
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#3
Jan 17, 2005, 05:28 PM
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I never feel like I do. We just have an awesome time together.
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#4
Jan 17, 2005, 07:21 PM
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Everybody needs a little time away,
Even lovers need a holiday! remember? It keeps things fresh... don't shoke him!!!
__________________
gab |
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#5
Jan 17, 2005, 09:53 PM
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Hi Allie --
I read someplace (probably a supermarket tabloid, teehee -- meaning take this for the $.02 it may be worth) that a relationship goes through a phrase where the two people are pretty much glued to each other. This particular piece suggested it was the first year of marriage, as the couple negotiates the boundaries of the relationship -- then after that, they emerge into more frequent interactions with family, friends. Seems to me that living together, etc., kind of throws the "first year of marriage" theory off -- but the bonding and negotiation period probably had to go on at some point. I agree, though, that striving to maintain balance in one's life is probably desirable. |
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#6
Jan 17, 2005, 09:55 PM
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I agree.. spending some time apart can freshing things up..
but make it seem like you want to do it for both of you, not just for you, or if it is for just you, tell him you love him if that is what you do love him that is. . Spending time with each other is healty, but do you live in the same house?? or do you life in speartere houses?? That shoudl tell you what you need to do.. Moving to fast can be unhealthy.... Take time to access what you need to do for the both of you ok
__________________
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#7
Jan 17, 2005, 10:29 PM
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I believe for most couples, you are refering to what is known as "the honeymoon period". When hubby and I were in college (the first time we really got the option to be together) we were inseperable. Did everything together. If I was invited, he had to be too, or I wouldn't go.
Now we enjoy our personal time...spending time apart is healthy. We are partners...in things through thick and thin, but we also need time to foster our own identity. I can't always be part of Erin and ____. I have to have some time to be myself...to do things he isn't interested in and vice versa. Spending time away from him makes me miss him, appreciate him, and love him more. As long as you aren't neglecting other parts of your life, I think you're fine. Relationships grow and change. It's part of life...or so they tell me. Good luck!
__________________
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou Karma is a boomerang. Trying to read 52 books in 52 weeks. See how I'm doing |
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#8
Jan 18, 2005, 10:01 AM
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 after 29 yrs marriage , we find time for ourselves, if we're together alllllll the time we sometimes argue. Angie
__________________
 A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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#9
Jan 18, 2005, 03:14 PM
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We didnt' spend so much time together until about the 7th month of our relationship. Maybe he's just getting more serious about me (I hope at least)
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#10
Jan 22, 2005, 10:53 PM
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I don't know if there is such a thing as spending too much time together if it's right. If it's not you just find that out a lot faster.
This is not to say that you should stop doing the things you like to do just to be with someone, only that your free time is precious and valuable and there is no better way to spend it than with a loved one 
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#11
Jan 25, 2005, 01:02 PM
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Alliecat,
I agree with what everyone has said thus far. I notice that in my relationships they definately go through phases of us wanting to spend tons of time together and then it changes... I also think that the amount of interaction being good or bad depends on the people involved in the relationship. If one person needs lots of freedom and alone time and the other does not then lots of time together might not be good. I think that you would beable to tell if you were spending too much time together. Maybe you two can talk about it? Ask him to tell you if the time you spend together gets to be too much. This way both of you are being honest in case someone needs some alone time..and you won't drive each other mad.  Jessica
__________________
"Though she knows well he doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her he might." |
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#12
Jan 25, 2005, 04:54 PM
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I asked if we were spending too much time together and he said "yeah, but I like doing stuff with you". As in we spend too much time together but I love it. At least that's the way I took it. Hmmm. Not sure what to do.
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#13
Jan 26, 2005, 01:00 PM
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Allie,
Why that is sure confusing. Could you ask him what he means by that? Tell him that you just want to make sure that he is happy or if he would like to start spending time apart. Aren't men great when they give cryptic answers like that? Jessica
__________________
"Though she knows well he doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her he might." |
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#14
Jan 26, 2005, 02:18 PM
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He's the one that always wants me around. I never invite myself. I don't think he would do that if he didn't want me there.
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#15
Jan 28, 2005, 12:47 PM
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I agree with that. I guess the only advice that I can give is that Communication is key.
Jessica
__________________
"Though she knows well he doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her he might." |
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