[YoursTruely]

I started talking to this girl, mainly through text messaging, a couple weeks ago. Throughout of the course of last week, we hung out on 3 separate occasions. The first time, we were both sick so we just stayed in and watched some TV and talked. The second time we went out to eat and then met up with some friends to go to a comedy club. The following day, we pretty much spent the whole day together (which was great). We went food shopping and then went back to her place to make a late lunch(or early dinner), walked around town and window shopped a little, went to a bar for a couple drinks, and watched a movie at her place.

Around 9:30 she decided it would be best to go get some wine and just stay in, instead of meeting up with other friends that was previously planned. Later that night, we had our first kiss which eventually progressed to having sex. Neither of us planned on it happening…it just did. I slept over and when we woke up we had sex again. After showering, we just laid around for like 3 hours kissing and cuddling.

I eventually asked her what this all meant to her and her response wasn’t the one I was hoping for. She went on to say that she had a really bad break up last year after a 5 year commitment and wasn’t really looking for a relationship at the moment. I think she saw the disappointment in my eyes and said that we would continue hanging out and see if anything would come of it eventually. She also didn’t want any of our mutual friends to know about our excursion.

I really like this girl and want something more concrete with her, but I don’t want to push her away from me either. I can’t help but thinking, now, that we went too far too fast. I would really like some advice on what would be the best course of action to take to help progress our relationship and not have things be weird between us. Should I continue to attempt to talk with her everyday, even if only through text messaging; or give her space and let her contact me when she wants to? Its only been like 24 hours since we last saw each other but we haven't really spoken since I left her place. I am so confused because when we were together I could definitely tell that she was into me and we had a great time together just being around each other and teasing each other. I really feel like we have a connection, but I can't help but think she just wants to be friends with benefits and I am not sure if I could handle that.

[ncguynva]

Well....coming out of a 5 year relationship myself...3 years of it married....i can sense where she is coming from. Depending on if theywere engaged....married....or what but perhaps she isnt wanting something solid yet and wanting to know you more and get comfortable around you more before committing. That's what i am telling the girl i am talking to now.....
and she wants a committment and she knows the situation i am in. If you dont want a friend with benfit type thing with her...let her know.....communication is key in ANY relationship IMO

BTW welcome to PSYCHCENTRAL!

[BlueFaith]

I agree with ncguy. Just be up front with her and tell her what you want and don't want. It's the only way she's going to know. I wish you the best of luck. Oh, and welcome to PC!!