[digdug]

I have to to background this story. I've been married coming on 10 years, and have a loving, fantastic wife. Our relationship is great - we have our ups and downs, but there's a bond between us that will never be broken.

Okay, now since I've gone back to school, I've found that most of the friends I've made have been female, for a number of reasons. I am in the social sciences, which is slanted demographically towards women. Also, what they say about girls being more mature than boys is in general true (with some exceptions), and, being an older student, I can relate much more to the women in my class than the guys. But, I swear, I have never had any intentions with anyone beyond being friends. I cannot that stress that enough.

Now, last semester, my first in my new school as an MA student, I struck up a good friendship with this girl who was quiet but extremely bright. We talked a lot before and after class, and I thought we were becoming quite good friends. I even divulged my mental issues to this person, something I've done only on a few other occasions...she divulged some personal issues of her own. It's nice when you're in a big new school to make such a close friend, or so I thought.

Now, I have to repeat, I had no intentions at all towards this girl other than becoming her friend. But, unfortunately, she has an older brother who she is quite close to who I know thought otherwise about me. He lives in another town, but I could gather from how she was acting towards me towards the end of the semester that something was up. And I know how older brothers act, and I am virtually positive that he was feeding bad ideas about me to her.

How do I know this? Well, I have one pretty good bit of proof. She had been debating about whether to continue on into her PhD or to go to law school (which her brother was strongly encouraging), but had seemed more or less committed to the PhD idea. But one day she came into class and was quite cool and abrupt with me. When we did get to talking, she mentioned how she was going to go to law school, and how useless a PhD degree was, etc. Well, I told her that I really felt that she would be a top-notch scholar if she chose to remain in academia, a belief I still maintain. I emphasized this clearly...too clearly, as it turned out.

Suddenly this girl would not talk to me anymore. I sent her an e-mail to ask her what the deal was, and she said that she felt that she was being too "personal" with me, and that she couldn't talk to me anymore. I sent her back a mildly sarcastic reply (I mean, this came as a huge surprise), and suddenly she started treating me as a pariah. Once I came up to her in the library and she started yelling at me to leave, much to my embarassment.

I know that none of this was my fault. Still, I can't tell you how hard it was to lose a friend like that so quickly, and over such ridiculous circumstances. I know that I'm probably better off not dealing with such an unstable person, but the feeling of being dropped so effortlessly hurt.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that story out. Thanks if you read the whole thing. Losing a friend hurts.

[St. John Wort]

It doesnt sound like you did anything wrong so dont let it eat you. Losing friends does suck though. Its especially hard when you suspect the influence of an outsider. Some people will belive anything they hear and others wait to see with their own eyes before passing judgement. I wish we could all be the later...
Good luck.