[DeOakes]

hello everyone,

I am new to this sight and I am angry with my husband at the moment. He has been dishonest with me for a while now about his money situation, in the beginning he was being very secretive about his money until I found out that he was bouncing checks and overdrawing on his accounts, I confronted him and now have access to his accounts online which I now manage for him. So I get a call about his car loan and how they have been sending him letters because the payment is overdue, which I've seen the letters come in the mail!! So again I confront him about the letters and he lies and says he didn't see any letters. I transfered money and caught the account up, but it was from our savings account. I don't know what the deal is with him, but it seems like he wants all his money for him and expects me to foot the bill for everything, he gives me some money every 2 weeks for bills and that is it, doesn't put anything in the joint account for savings, and I put at least 200 every two weeks in the joint account for savings, but yet here I am dishing out money for his late car payment? How can I get through to him that he needs to be saving money as well? Please help

[Pomegranate]

If you haven't already, try sitting down with him at a time you both agree on, to talk about this. Have copies of all financial statements, bills, etc. ready to show him. Explain how you feel and that you are worried about both your financial futures.

If he doesn't respond to this and continues being so irresponsible about his finances, I would take my money and keep it in a separate account. I would not bail him out when he runs into trouble. Depending on how much you own together and what it is worth, you may need to seek legal advise about this to protect yourself. If he does not change his ways, he sounds like he'll be going through all YOUR money pretty soon too!

[knothead]

I've only been a member of PC for about a week, but your situation sounds similar to something that I have gone through with my husband. He started being really weird about money, acting like what he made was his and his alone, while all the money I made went straight to pay bills. I started catching him in all kinds of lies, and of course he would deny everything. After about a year of hell, he took off (abandoned me) in his brand new truck, of which he had not made a single payment on. I'm not saying that your husband is this extreme, but I think you should keep a close eye on him. If you can afford the counsel of a lawyer, I'd check into that too, just to be safe. Hopefully you won't be screwed over like I was.

Best of Luck,
Knothead