[marjan]

My boyfriend of two months have broken up with me...or I don't know if he really borke up or not....but it seems like that....he fought with me after salsa club and he told me he can just walk away from me....and now he's on vacation....he texted me that when he's back he wants to talk and he wants to be friends....not sure really what he meant by that...I complained before that we haven't built up our friendship yet!!!!

Now I'm obsess with him....thinking about him all the time...crying sometimes...and I'm scared to talk to him....I'm afraid of the rejection...very afraid...I'm afraid to meet him again....

I hate the obsession part....I hold on myself not to check his facebook...then when couple of days are going by...I check his facebook....

I hate this...please help me...and this is for any relationship I'm getting into...I can't hold on to it when it's good...then when it gets bad and the guy is not into me anymore....I want him back

[nightbird]

First, relax.

THis Guy wasn't into it, is all.

Sometimes, when we are dating, or in short relationships, people are feeling each other out.

When the shoe is on the other foot, you would probably tell that person you want to be friends also. That's because maybe... you want to lessen the hurt.

Listen, slow down the attachment to others. Don't let yourself get dependent in the dating process. Actually, it's healthier to be strong enough to manage your own life, then share your time and emotions with another, not give everything over to people who haven't even committed to any long-term stuff yet.

See... this way, you are strong, on your two feet, holding your own... as is the other person.
If it doesn't work out for one or the other, you really do want to know that up front, so that you deal with this reality.

This is not the one for me. Try repeating that over and over.

You must believe you deserve someone who wants you ~ who loves you and is in 'love' with you, and respects you, and puts you ahead of others.

When that Guy arrives in your life, you will know it by how he treats you and the things he does, moreso than what gets said.

Spare yourself the falling apart over this Guy. He wasn't your mate. Tell yourself that.

Maybe think of dating as experimenting with different people.

Because you have a need to be in a close, committed relationship, date only those who are also into that, but if they don't feel like that will be with you, release them, gladly, so that you can have the room and time for the one who is right for you to enter your view.

Meanwhile, take a break. Think about taking a class... maybe a cooking class by a great chef, or a pottery class, a jewelry making class, if you are artsy... or a travel class, like where you get a short version of learning another language - enough to get you by if you ever go to Italy or something...

There are much better things you deserve to be doing, than to continually pine for someone who isn't in the relationship.

Be good to you. Expand your horizon, there, and you will find better things to occupy your mind than repetitious heartache.... that's just painful, stressful, and eroding of self-esteem.

Build yourself up!!!!

You are terrific... you have qualities and abilities and now ~ go dream a new dream!

Let me know how you are progressing, Dear Person.

Peace and Love,
Nightbird

notice in the picture, (chalk pic, btw, very cool) how the girl is having a ball, enjoying herself (not wallowing), and see who she is attracting... got it... hmmmm .... be living the life you really want and Mr. Right will show up, like the artist shows here.

xoxo