shouldnt give up...

Well, I recently told an old "friend" I hated her. I won't deny it. Despite how cold and hurtful and shattering it was to her, it's the truth. She only spit back every bit of love and tenderness into my face. She's getting help now, and I like that, but not only was it far too late for my own sanity, therapy is a two-person deal. The therapist doesn't make it all better. You have to trust that person and let them know what's going on. I suffered from MPD and severe depression for four years. I was in therapy once a week the whole time, but I was getting much worse. It was my own fault. I take responsibilty for that. This girl never took responsibilty for herself though. She claimed to, and tried, but to no avail. She then tried to pinpoit all her problems on me and guilt-trip me into doing so many things for her.

I took her in twice when her father hit her. I suffered whenever she called me a selfish ***** and threatened to strangle me. I took in the pain of her when she thwacked me upside the head with a full soda bottle. Every time I forgave her. Every time I supported her. Every time I gave my all and a little more.

She called me selfish.

... That set me over the edge.

But even still, she lead her life through me. Now she's in a depression, and giving up on everything. She's ONLY concentrating on therapy. She's become obsessive with trying to get better. I find two flaws with this.

One, is she's giving up everything and wallowing in the fact she needs to get better. That's making it worse, in my own opinion. The reason should be obvious.

Two, is I don't think she's doing it for herself. I honestly think she's doing it for me.

... Administrators and moderators, if you do find something wrong or too revealling in this post, please list specifically what's wrong. I just really need to get this out, and I'll revise and edit it as much as I can.

The things you did for your friend are amazing!! There is something we call boundaries, and you just need a little fine tuning on your own set of boundaries..read "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud. Your friend needs to hit rock bottom before realizing how to improve, and yes for HERSELF. But I am so impressed with what is in your heart to help a friend to the extent of what you did. You must have a big heart. It will be sad to have a break from your friend, but this for the better. God bless you, your friend will come around and better equipped to handle her illness thanks to tough love.

oh, thank you so much! I did go over the edge with her, and I'm sorry. I always felt so bad, like I had done something wrong. I did make a long rant... I do care about the girl. I do. But I can't allow myself back into the relationship.

I don't want anyone to think lowly of her. She's an amazing unique person, who has been gifted in the arts. No one should judge her on my opinions and experiences.

And I was right in still thinking you do care. I'd like to tell you something though, by reading your post it made me think....I'm not trying to get better for you anymore, but I used to be wanting to get better for that...I hope you're able to hold a good life from now on. Thankyou for everything....

~ Me...

not a problem, m'dear