[maymie]

I'm not doing too good right now. I've kind of been being mean to a friend of mine. The reason is that they are leaving in a few months to go 5 hours away, to a different state. This is someone that I've confided in about alot of stuff and now they are leaving. I know that they don't think of it as them leaving me because we'll be able to communicate through the computer and phone but in a way I feel like I'm being walked out on. I know that sounds crazy, right? But its how I feel. I'm the type of person that when I feel as if I'm being walked out on I shut down and push people away. The way I push people away is being mean to them. Thats what I'm doing with my friend. They are leaving and I feel as if I'm being walked out on or abandoned so I"m shutting down and pushing them away. I feel bad because they care about me and I know they do and here I am being mean to them. As I said, I know they don't think of them leaving as that big of a deal because we'll be able to communicate other ways but I still feel like I'm being walked out on. My friend doesn't know how i feel. Do I tell them? Do I tell them the reason I"m mean to them and pushing them away? This friend isn't the only friend or person I talk to but they are a big part of my life and now they are leaving.

[Bubblewrap]

I know it is hard letting a friend go away because they truly are a big part of your life. I know it will be very hard to do, but try as hard as you can to tell your friend how you feel because then maybe they will understand why you have been acting the way you are. It lets them know you still care. Just be honest and things should be okay, plus you can always find ways for you guys to hang out, a five-hour drive may feel like forever, but every once in awhile may be worth it.

[maymie]

thanks for your advice. I just didn't know whether to tell them or not.

Originally Posted by Bubblewrap

I know it is hard letting a friend go away because they truly are a big part of your life. I know it will be very hard to do, but try as hard as you can to tell your friend how you feel because then maybe they will understand why you have been acting the way you are. It lets them know you still care. Just be honest and things should be okay, plus you can always find ways for you guys to hang out, a five-hour drive may feel like forever, but every once in awhile may be worth it.

[Pomegranate]

I would tell your friend how you are feeling. You might start off by acknowledging to them that you've been acting mean to them and saying your sorry about it. Then explain why and tell them how much you will miss them and how you feel you are being abandonned. Most of us would understand your feelings . She may even share some of her own fears about losing your friendship, or others, because of this move.

[coralproper]

ahhhh...I did not read all that but...friends are forever...and five hours aint that far in reality hope things get better

[Jenn1fer82]

Yes you should talk to them and be respectful. Allow yourself to express your feelings and your friends also. You dont want to end this friendship on bad terms. Your friends don't have control that they must move 5 hours away and please be understanding to that. You're feelings about abandonment have been in your life before these great friends have been your life so please dont make them pay for what others have done to you in your past. You're not a bad person for feeling the way that you do because I can understand. Yes it will be difficult to change and adjust to this new situation but learn from it and be strong.

Originally Posted by maymie

I'm not doing too good right now. I've kind of been being mean to a friend of mine. The reason is that they are leaving in a few months to go 5 hours away, to a different state. This is someone that I've confided in about alot of stuff and now they are leaving. I know that they don't think of it as them leaving me because we'll be able to communicate through the computer and phone but in a way I feel like I'm being walked out on. I know that sounds crazy, right? But its how I feel. I'm the type of person that when I feel as if I'm being walked out on I shut down and push people away. The way I push people away is being mean to them. Thats what I'm doing with my friend. They are leaving and I feel as if I'm being walked out on or abandoned so I"m shutting down and pushing them away. I feel bad because they care about me and I know they do and here I am being mean to them. As I said, I know they don't think of them leaving as that big of a deal because we'll be able to communicate other ways but I still feel like I'm being walked out on. My friend doesn't know how i feel. Do I tell them? Do I tell them the reason I"m mean to them and pushing them away? This friend isn't the only friend or person I talk to but they are a big part of my life and now they are leaving.