[bigbrucey2]

Well i meet this girl about 2weeks ago and i (know im falling for her).the think is she has a boyfriend and i dont want to get in between that because i respect her relationship,i dont know where to go,how to stop thinking about her,its hard,but im scared to fall in love again because my heart was deeply broke last year and the 20th will mark the day ive been single for a year.Can anyone help?

[Vlo1980]

Hi!

I'm really sorry your previous relationship ended in heartache, and according to what you've written, I can tell you're still hurting because of that experience. Why did it end?

If this new girl is in a relationship with someone else it would be smart not to interfere, you're right. Two weeks isn't really enough to fall in love with someone, it is just an attraction right now so try to keep your distance before you start to develop stronger feelings for her.

I hope everything works out ok for you.

[Pomegranate]

I'd approach her and start a friendly conversation. When it feels right, bring the conversation around to her boyfriend. If he is her boyfriend and she is happy with her relationship with him. Then I would leave it at that. Maybe you can stay distantly friendly with her, in case her current relationship does not work out.

But if she's happy with her current relationship and you are having a difficult time not thinking about her, then maybe you should try just staying away from her altogether.

You need to move forward in your life, that does not mean you have to rush into another relationship right away. Taking a year or even more time off from dating and getting involved in a relationship while you heal, get to know yourself better and grow emotionally is a healthy thing to do, it's taking care of yourself.

Obessesing about someone who is isn't interested in you is not a good thing to do to yourself. Approach her in conversation, find out what's going on with her, if she lets you know she is otherwise involved or simply not interested in you, move on. You will find someone when the time is right.

[artie]

Oh you sound like me at your age, a wild crazy thing, if it's anything like my infatuations I really feel sorry for you and wish you the best.

I think an expert would describe it an an infatuation, a crush, rather than love which is a more subtle thing that develops from knowing someone over time (feel free to disagree anyone).

In my life (I'm 44) a loving relationship never developed out of such wild floods of emotion, partly because I couldn't even think straight around such amazing girls.

In my life the realtionships have come from getting to know someone I was attracted to and could relate to, then something quite beautiful but subtle can happen.

I'd be interested to hear of anyone who had ended up successfully with someone they were wildly infatuated with, it must happen. It may happen to you big brucy.

Good luck