Transference

Ok. I've been going to my therapist for 5 months now averaging a meeting every two weeks. I see her to help deal with stress, depression, some MILD family issues, Asperger's, and bisexuality. Before I went to therapy, I thought I was going to hate her because she works at a Christian therapy practice. I was of the impression that "Christian therapy" meant "ex-gay therapy." I only came out to my mom about 4 months before I started seeing my therapist. I couldn't read my mom's reaction very well so I thought she was sending me to this practice to make me straight. It wasn't until after the first couple of sessions with my therapist that I realized it wasn't an ex-gay practice.

I never had consistent friends growing up until I went to college. Unfortunately, I had to leave the college where I made my friends and come home for community college. I flunked out of my first college because I simply didn't do my homework. Now, I find myself in a place where I TECHNICALLY have friends who are still there for me, but they are 3 hours away from where I currently live. I visit them about once every 6 weeks or so. However, I do not have many friends in town.

Anyway, I'm starting to feel some transference. It isn't romantic, sexual, or paternal. It is purely friendly. We have a good bit in common. She is no more than 8 years older than me, and we are both adults. I also found out that I'm starting to care about her. There are times when I want to switch places and be the therapist for her. I've had dreams of inviting her to my college graduation, wedding, and so on and so forth. I want to have coffee with her and just hang out.

Can I get some insight on this?

Perfectly, completely normal to care about someone who listens to you and understands you, and also to just simply like that person from the limited interaction you have with them. Are you troubled by the feelings? Have you told her about them? You should.

Are you sure it isn't maternal or parental transference? Those are the sort of events you would want your parents at. I at first thought my transference with my therapist was of the "I just really like her and want to be friends with her!" variety, but as it turns out it is totally maternal transference. Not that it will turn out that way for you, but maybe think about it.

Good luck!

I have a love/hate relationship with these feelings. I love that these feelings are positive, but I hate that my T can't reciprocate on them. I understand that T's are supposed to be neutral and not have any kind of relationship outside of therapy. I have emailed her about it on Wednesday, but I haven't gotten a response back.

I'm pretty sure it isn't maternal. I have an awesome relationship with my mom, and I can't think of any sort of negative relationship I've had with an older female either. The only negative female relationship I've had is with my younger sister, but my T is older than me. If she were a male, then it might be paternal because I'm pretty distant with my dad. I've had paternal transference on some older males in my life: minister and drum teacher.

About inviting her to my wedding and graduation: these are events that I would invite friends to as well.

I'm so confused about what is going on. I've never been in therapy before.