To masturbate thinking about your therapist? Should I tell her or would it creep her out?

Also, how can you tell if it's erotic transference? For instance, I often think about having sex with the therapist I was seeing. I would study her body language to see if she was attracted to me. I would groom my hair well before going to each session. Sort of like if I was going on a date.

I won't go into detail about the sexual fantasies I have to her, other then I'm dominating her and she's submissive. I often think about having rough sex with her, but it's not rape,and she enjoys it.

I would like her to find me attractive and to like me, but I'm not that fussed if she didn't love me. I wouldn't be jealous if she has a boyfriend or husband, and I'm not bothered if she see's me as her favourite client.

That last bit confuses me. I don't think I've fallen in love with her, but see her more as friend who I'd like to have sex with. It's really confusing.
In reality I'd like to have her as a friend who I could see once a week for the rest of my life. I know that can't happen either.

I'm will explain this to her when I see her in a few months.

[WePow]

Tell her about it. That is how you will get to find out where the thoughts are from.
Sexual issues are important to research in therapy.

[~firefly~]

Honestly I would tell her about the sexual feelings, but not about the masturbation part. That might make her uncomfortable.

[krisakira]

i've done that before. only cause i wanted him to hold me and protect me... it felt safe to think of him

[LavalampTerry]

Well, I don't know about the whole "rough sex thing." Not my cup of tea. But I HAVE fantazied about my T many, many times. Still do occasionally. After about 3 years of having those feelings about her, I told her a few months ago. Very liberating and eased some of the guilt. See, I'm married and my transference felt like I was "cheating" on my wife, albeit emotionally.

Don't know about you but for me I've concluded that my T will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. From what we've shared - talked about - what she's given me (unconditional love!!) She ocuplies a space NO ONE will fill. Not even my current wife who I love.

I, too, can't imagine a life without my T in it. Don't think I'll have to worry about that any time soon.... Gotta LOT to work on....

Good luck talking to your T about the sexual issues. I agree with an earlier post. You can say whatever you need to say. I find for me that it's all in the wording... She'll get the idea easily enough! Or if she's anything like MY t, she'll just ask : "You mean you masturbate??" "well ---- yeah...*cringe*...."

Take care!

[MASIMO]

Hmmmmmm...nice place to be isn't it. I told him..in an email that I had sexual fantasies. And said never use the M word OK? So he knows.
I find it very comforting, feel like I have just been with him. I'm not ashamed, and I think it's normal. I say enjoy it.