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#1
Jun 17, 2011, 06:50 PM
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I am a 33 year old guy from Athens Greece who has been dealing with social phobia since the age of 13. I do not want to go into the details about my condition and how it was caused. I will do that in another post.
I would like to talk about my therapist story. In February 2010 I started seeing my new therapist after having changed 4 therapists in the last 10 years. unfortunately none were able to help. Luckly with this new one i found the prefect therapist. I have been seeing her 2 times a week (Mondays and Thursdays) for 90 minute sessions. she has helped me realise things about my life,and has given answers to many of my questions etc. She is a 42 year old woman whom i find really pretty and beautiful. Our patient-therapist relationship is a really healthy one. for the first time in my life i am so open. i talk to her about all my inner feelings and every monday and thursdstay i am so looking forward to going to my sessions. Although we have a perfect patient doctor relationship, over the last year (since last june) i have started having really strong feelings for her. Let me explain what i mean by STRONG feelings. I do not feel as though i am obsessed with her or have sexual fantasies about her. even though i have thought about her sexualy a few times. I do not feel as though i am obsessd with her. i just sometimes think of her with a lot of love and affection. as a best friend...I think she is really pretty..this is something i want to talk about with her. but at the same time i am afraid she will send me to another therapist, or might reject me as a patient  i have no idea how she will react if i tell her that i think she is pretty and that i feel close to her (not sexually-like i mentioned) just this feeling of love...It would kill me psychologically if she send me to another therapist or decided to stop sessions, because i have come such a long way with her and i dont think i would be ready to start a new relationship with a new therapist and start from scratch again.... this thing has been on my mind for the last year.. to the point where it has become hard trying to concentrate on the sessions whenever i am there, because i see her "differently" sometimes... please help. how do you people think i should proceed. by the way my name is George and it's nice to see that there is such a forum where people with the same problems as me can share their experiences. thank you 
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#2
Jun 18, 2011, 05:54 AM
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Hi George, and welcome.
The whole client-therapist relationship is confusing for most, including me! So far, the only thing that has helped me is to talk about it with the T. It's hard, and for me I can't get the words out all at once, but now that my T has a better understanding, she's able to help, and sometimes direct the conversation. Have you been able to bring this up with her at all?
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wheeler |
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#3
Jun 18, 2011, 11:15 AM
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Quote:
Hello wheeler...Unfortunately i havent been able to bring this issue up in any of our sessions. Probably from fear that she might decide to stop therapy and send me to another T...it has a lot to do with my fear of rejection i guess...for all i know..at some point i will have to bring it up, but i'm still afraid.. Last edited by retroG; Jun 18, 2011 at 02:39 PM. |
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#4
Jun 18, 2011, 02:18 PM
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I also want to give some more examples about the client-therapsit relationship with my my T
Last year on her bday I bought her a nice present..a nice scarf..she accepted it of course, but told me not to do it again because it is against client-therapist rules...but she was thrilled by it and loved the present. Another example: I am a graphic artist and i draw comics. So once, i drew a comic strip with her in it. A story she told me once about her... and she loved it so much she hung it on the wall in the kitchen (patient waiting lobby) - having asked me beforehand of course if it's ok with me. The reason i did all these things was because i wanted to show her how much i appreciate all she has done for me.. this is something i tell her all the time too during sessions... But I trully do feel that sometimes i am in love with her...honestly though, sexual thoughts are secondary on my mind... The first thing i feel is a very deep love for her. Last edited by retroG; Jun 18, 2011 at 03:12 PM. |
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#5
Jun 19, 2011, 06:26 PM
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So next session is tomorrow and i am THIS close to letting it all out and telling her...but i am still afraid...
anyways thanks to anyone who dropped by and read my posts... Last edited by retroG; Jun 19, 2011 at 06:46 PM. |
 swimmergirl
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#6
Jun 19, 2011, 06:35 PM
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I know it will be hard for you but see if you can tell your T. She probably has a good idea, from your actions, how you feel already. Your feelings are normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. I don't think she will want to refer you to another T. You will feel so much better after you tell her!! Good luck.
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#7
Jun 19, 2011, 06:45 PM
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Hello rainbow8...
Yes, i have read so many articles and stuff (books and net) over the last few weeks on the subject of transference, and i was lucky to find this site so i can share these feelings with others going through exactly the same things.. Deep inside of me i know that i will feel better after having told her, and it will take the therapy into another level. thanks
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| rainbow8
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#8
Jun 20, 2011, 10:09 AM
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Good luck in being able to talk to your T tomorrow - let us know how it goes.
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Soup |
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#9
Jun 20, 2011, 02:37 PM
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Just go slow, and go at your own pace. You may not be able to get it out all at once, but starting it will work wonders.
Good Luck!!!
__________________
wheeler |
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#10
Jun 20, 2011, 10:22 PM
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Did you talk to your T about your feelings for her today?
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#11
Jun 22, 2011, 05:15 PM
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Did it go okay for you? Did you tell her?
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#12
Jun 24, 2011, 01:56 PM
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Hi G! I get EXACTLY what you're saying. "Been there - done that." I don't want to be repetitive, so instead maybe you could take a few moments and read a thread I started a while back entitled. "New guy - got a Problem." Pretty much describes what I was like when I stumbled on this site (thank goodness!!) and how my experience with transference evolved - up to the day I finally told my T about my feelings for her. And what its been like since. I see alot of similiarities in my experience and what you are saying now. Maybe you will too. If nothing else maybe you'll realize you're not alone with these feelings. And perhaps you'll also see the wonderful support that's available to you here - as it was for me during that time. Looks like your already experiencing some of that.
OR feel free to stop by any time if you want to talk. If it's for you anything like it was for me - it's painful. VERY painful. But it CAN be addressed and then it CAN get much better. Good luck! Let us know how it turns out!
__________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1v84...yer_detailpage |
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#13
Jun 25, 2011, 04:53 PM
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Hello friends
Was away for a few days. Yes i finally did get to talk to her on Thursday. I wrote it down in a big letter. Not only did she appreciate all these feelings i told her i had for her but i also saw tears coming out of her eyes. This is the first time in my life that someone gets so emotional over something i have said. I am so happy about letting it all out and that everything went well. Thank you all for listening
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| LavalampTerry, rainbow8, swimmergirl
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#14
Jun 25, 2011, 04:54 PM
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@Lava. yes i did read your thread about this issue and it helped me a lot..Thanks
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#15
Jun 25, 2011, 08:27 PM
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That's AWESOME G!!
If you're anything like me I was disorientated for a day or so after the "big reveal." The power of being accepted and supported while uncovering such a frightening thing is/was overwhelming!! NICE, but overwhelming. Sounds like you have a wonderful T. Congrats!!! Big step -- HUGE. SO happy for you!!!!
__________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1v84...yer_detailpage |
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#16
Jun 26, 2011, 08:35 PM
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I felt like a big a big load came off my back after all this..having expressed my feelings...It's a good feeling. I can understand what you mean about feeling disoriented Lava
....Yes, i am so lucky. she is a great T. mind you my Therapist Path wasnt an easy one..have changed 4 already over the last 10 years...and finally i found the right one thank you all for listening, and talk to you all again soon 
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#17
Jun 26, 2011, 09:55 PM
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Well done G! Be VERY proud of yourself!
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#18
Jun 26, 2011, 10:24 PM
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Good job! Glad it went well for you!
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#19
Jul 08, 2011, 11:02 PM
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talk it out
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