[LearningMe01]

So I recently joined this site while I was looking for ways to deal with some major transference issues I was having towards my T. I received a LOT of helpful insight on the subject and it really put my mind at ease. I realized it's ok to love her, I can not control what I'm feeling, and feelings aren't "wrong" they're just a fact of life. I've learned to just enjoy it, and when I had my session yesterday I really focused on not letting it bother me, I just allowed myself to feel and accept it. It was a wonderful session, and when It was over I walked away from the session feeling happy, and not dealing with a lot of inner turmoil. Things are improving! I've learned that the therapist/client relationship is unique, there is nothing else like it, and it can be a very deep special relationship...so why wouldn't you "fall in love" with the person?

CLEARLY I know NOTHING will ever come of it, and that's Okay. It doesn't have to. Just enjoying the bond and closeness with another human being is a wonderful thing, especially someone who is helping you "feel better.". She's good at what she does, and I'm so very thankful to have her as my therapist.

[MonroeTree]

I love your outlook on the situation! The description of your feelings are very similar to mine own for my T, so I can totally relate.

For a while I thought "I need to get past these feelings", but thanks to all the wonderful testimonials here I'm seeing that the more important thing is to accept the feelings as a response to the unique relationship I have with my T.

["Tilly may"]

i find it painful to accept the feelings. I long and pine for Laurie my T.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by "Tilly may"

i find it painful to accept the feelings. I long and pine for Laurie my T.

Yeeeaa....I'm back to the "longing" feelings also. I guess I was just in a positive mood when I wrote this. lol.

It Sucks to long for something that will never be.

[HealingTimes]

Sending you hugs, Learning, i am going through the longing as well, and know that i probably will do until i see her again (2 weeks now) to discuss it with her.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by HealingTimes

Sending you hugs, Learning, i am going through the longing as well, and know that i probably will do until i see her again (2 weeks now) to discuss it with her.

I'm sorry you're going through it, glad to know i'm not alone though! At least you talk to yours about it...I'm not able to do that. Not because she would react badly, she's always very supportive, I'm just way toO embarrassed to say anything. I title these posts with "transference"(mostly just so people on this site know what I'm talking about) but I'm not really big on that label. I think feelings are feelings, period. It's not some psychological phenomena. Good Luck, and I hope those two weeks go smoothly for you!

[HealingTimes]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

I'm sorry you're going through it, glad to know i'm not alone though! At least you talk to yours about it...I'm not able to do that. Not because she would react badly, she's always very supportive, I'm just way toO embarrassed to say anything. I title these posts with "transference"(mostly just so people on this site know what I'm talking about) but I'm not really big on that label. I think feelings are feelings, period. It's not some psychological phenomena. Good Luck, and I hope those two weeks go smoothly for you!

Thanks Learning, i hope they go quickly!

Re speaking to your T about your feelings-do you find it gets in the way of having therapy? I was finding it very hard to concentrate in therapy at one point, so just had to tell T how much i think about her, wish she was my mum, how much i hate her (at time) and how much i love her (at other times).
I was MORTIFIED by my own feelings, but she really helped me to reduce the embarrassment by telling me that she used to fantasize about running off with her T.
I'm not trying to convince you to tell all, i just thought it may be interesting for you to hear.x.

[LearningMe01]

I know about not being able to see your T for a couple weeks. I had to skip last week because of spring break. I didn't think it would bother me (missing one week) but it does!

I agree that harboring these feelings and not telling her is probably a distraction from therapy. I think part of it is that while deep down I'm very aware that it's never going to be anything more than therapy, and our relationship will end - I kind of enjoy living in the fantasy once in a while, ya know? I'm sure that isn't completely healthy, but the fact that I do know the truth helps me a little.

Right now we're working on trust and vulnerability issues within our (therapy) relationship. Lately I've had a hard time opening up to her (even though I've been seeing her for a long time) and she's helping me explore what the reason behind hat is...so I may just end up spilling my guts, who knows.

[tooski]

This article has helped me so much to understand my feelings for my T, and why the pain is so intense. I hope it helps you too:

Attachment to Your Therapist

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by tooski

This article has helped me so much to understand my feelings for my T, and why the pain is so intense. I hope it helps you too:

Attachment to Your Therapist

I'm going to read it right now, thank you