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Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Australia
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#61
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I had an appointment to see my therapist today and explained exactly how i feel. I think he understands what im feeling. In hindsight I think I expected much more from him than is appropriate to expect from a therapist. I compared him to my former therapist and felt that he wasn't meeting my needs. By my needs I dont mean that i expected sex from him. Just the thought of becoming intimate with anyone now fills me with repulsion and fear. My former therapist in many ways treated me like a child. He used to think for me, he used to solve my problems, he made me feel safe and protected from the real world. Unknowingly I became increasingly dependent upon him. If he wasn't able to see me I would panic and and stress about how i was going to cope without him. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I was his patient for 20 years and during those 20 years emotionally I stopped growing. Emotionally I'm 20 years younger than my true biological age. I now realise that I need to take responsible for my own life and that no one else can do it for me. Thank you for listening x __________________ Treat others how you would want others to treat you |
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Member
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#62
http://http://omgrey.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/breaking-the-betrayal-bon
This seems like a fairly accurate account of what happened. However it left me feeling physically sick to the core of my being. I couldnt read it all but the little that I did read bought up intense feelings of panic and anxiety and has left a gut wrenching pain to my stomach . I felt as though i was reliving the entire sick situation. Maybe im not ready to delve deeply into what happened just yet? Finding this all so extremely overwhelming and triggering. Is it normal to feel this way? Would reading these types of books help me to begin the healing process? I want to leave the past behind me and make a new start in my life x __________________ Treat others how you would want others to treat you |
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#63
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Member
Member Since Aug 2012
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#64
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I've logged into the TELL website. This is the message that i see below: All of these papers are the express property of their authors and are used with permission. We ask that you not reproduce or distribute them without first seeking and receiving permission to do so. For permissions, please contact: jan1075@gmail.com"" Do i email jan and what exactly do i write? Thanks for any help xx __________________ Treat others how you would want others to treat you |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2010
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#65
Lizzie, my exploitation was emotional rather than sexual, yet it was a gradual process to understand it.
I'm so happy you were able to share this with your husband and receive his understanding and support. My biggest step was to demote my therapists (they were a team) as authority figures and see them as merely people with their own selfish needs, who graduated school and hung out a shingle claiming the power to help people in distress. Over time they began to believe their own publicity and believed anything they did, or invented, or the mere association with them was magical and healing. In other words, they were highly deluded people wore the cloak of professionals and healers. Understanding them essentially was like pulling back the curtain on the Wizard of Oz. I also found conversations with TELL responders my best resource. some therapists can be uncomfortable with the abuse issue themselves. In addition to reading about abuse in therapy, I also read about cults and mind control, other instances were one person exerts harmful influence over another. In the case of sexual abuse, resources for those abused by clergy and other authority figures might also be relevant. A blogger named Kristi also offers extensive resources. Surviving Therapist Abuse - About Another website, Lynette's Law, offers resources and lobbies to make sexual exploitation by therapist a crime in more states: Lynette's Law for Maryland I also had an extremely positive experience email TELL and corresponding with them. . They've been in operation for decades and their founder was herself victim to abuse. Wishing you peace and ease in getting through this. Here are the links I have from TELL that seem to work. I think they will get you to books, stories and more scholarly papers. Others report the conflicts you talk about. TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line Stories TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line More scholarly papers: TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line More book lists: Lynette's Law reading list: » Books Lynette's Law for Maryland Kristi's reading list: Books & Media for Therapist Abuse, Clergy Abuse, Professional Misconduct |
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LizzieVale
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#66
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growlycat, missbella, precaryous, tametc
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#67
Just keeping everyone updated regarding my situation
I mentioned in an earlier post in February 2014 that I told my husband everything regarding my therapist's abuse. At the time he told me that he loved me and would stand by me and support me and that nothing had changed between us both. Its now October 2014. Four weeks ago my "darling" husband of 20 years of marriage told me that he is filing for a divorce. So much for telling the truth __________________ Treat others how you would want others to treat you |
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bipolar angel, growlycat, iheartjacques, precaryous
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Poohbah
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#68
I'm sorry to hear this. My first time coming across this thread but just looking at this page and this is awful. Hang in there...
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LizzieVale
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#69
Thank you Partless
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2009
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#70
This is also my first time reading this thread and you've been through a lot- I'm very sorry. I hope things get better for you soon.
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LizzieVale
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LizzieVale, Partless
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#71
Thank you and blessings to you Lauliza xx
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#72
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Last edited by bipolar angel; Oct 07, 2014 at 10:08 AM.. |
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LizzieVale
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Inner Space Traveler
Member Since May 2014
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#73
This is the first time ve seen this thread, too.
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I hate that this happened to you. My Pdoc had sex with me, too. I could have written your first post on this thread. The abuse happened back in the 90's. I filed medical board and civil complaints. Criminal charges were considered. It appears I'm farther along in the process than you....maybe I can help or just listen to what you have to say. If you need to talk about what you are going through, please PM me. |
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LizzieVale
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2012
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#74
So, now you have been betrayed twice. How horrible. I am so sorry.
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LizzieVale
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LizzieVale
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2014
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#75
This was my first time reading this thread...
i'm sorry i'm sorry for what your t did to you. i can't imagine trusting a t that long only to have him groom and use you. i've seen my t for 5 years and there are many times i'm grateful he's ethical because i realize how vulnerable i've been with him and how he could use that against me for his own satisfaction. i'm also sorry to hear about your husband. i don't think many people understand the strange dynamic of therapy. it's taken me a long while to realize that he really does have power over me and that's really through reading on this board and realizing the experiences people have gone through __________________ “It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed |
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LizzieVale
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LizzieVale
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Comfy Sedation
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#76
i could have written your first post when i finally told about my former T having sex with me. The clashing and conflicting feels of hate and missing him. feeling used. etc
now when i think of it, i do NOT miss former T anymore. i also hate him a lot and am very angry. my T now says it is good that i have moved on to the anger part. its a part of the process. __________________ |
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LizzieVale, precaryous
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
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#77
Lizzie- sorry to read all this. It's helping me change perspective on my own therapy. I hope things work out for the best with your husband. Sexless relationships are very painful to be in.
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LizzieVale
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LizzieVale
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Therapy Ninja
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#78
How are you Lizzie?
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LizzieVale
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LizzieVale
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Member
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#79
[QUOTE=LizzieVale;3005044]Feel as though i have lost a friend and cant cope with these feelings that im expereincing. Cant motivate myself to do the most basic of tasks and just cannot function. No longer take pride in the way that i look....i hate everything about myself and I see no future. How will i ever be able to trust anyone ever again. I feel so alone and so very afraid.
Lizzie, I have been through all if this. It IS getting better. It gets better, then not so good, then better, then a little worse, then better ,,,,,,, figure 8's , but dragging toward the goal. I did some EMDR around it, which really helped. |
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#80
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junkDNA, LizzieVale
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