[Loco4]

Hi all,

I'm in a really great headspace at the moment. I spoke to t on the phone yesterday and we have agreed to have a really honest discussion about the intense feelings I have.

I'm trying to prepare myself because I know I'll be anxious and embarrassed.

Any tips on how to get through it?

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[nicoleflynn]

I don't have any tips. Just talk. Idid it years ago; it was difficult, but I needed to be honest, and not hide what was going on with me. you may want to write things down also; because when you feel anxious, etc., you may forget what you want to say. I guess that is a tip, LOL!

[Loco4]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

I don't have any tips. Just talk. Idid it years ago; it was difficult, but I needed to be honest, and not hide what was going on with me. you may want to write things down also; because when you feel anxious, etc., you may forget what you want to say. I guess that is a tip, LOL!

A great tip, in fact!

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[WanderingBark]

I found that writing down what you would like to say helps organize thoughts. I haven't tried this yet, but I think practicing out loud might be helpful too.

[bolair811]

I'll agree to the above about writing thoughts / feelings down to refer to in the session if needed. I do this a lot when I have a lot of mixed emotions going on. Otherwise, I end up missing something important and wishing I had remembered it.

I think you've already taken a huge first step in just acknowledging with your therapist that you need to have a conversation about your feelings. To me, the absolute hardest part about discussing my feelings about T was just bringing up the fact that I had any at all. Now that you know that door has been opened, I'd just start with something like "I'm feeling really anxious and embarrassed and I don't know where to start..." Your T will likely help you get started by asking a question or something else to get you thinking and talking. Just remember to breathe!

[RedSun]

Yes, breathe!
I often make just three very short notes, just a couple of words maybe, so that
I don't muddle myself. I tell T at the start that's I've written notes, so that she knows I've got something to say, and not to lead me.
Also, if I think I'm going to be anxious, I take a nice snuggly scarf to wrap in, and something like bangles to fiddle with

I find that telling the T in advance about a topic I want to discuss in the next session is very efficient -- sounds like you have already done that on the phone. I usually do this via email between sessions or mention at the end of a session what I would like to talk about next time. I've always stuck with the agenda so far and we always had good discussions about whatever I brought up this way. Then when I go to the session, just sit down and start straight and very directly. We dealt with sexual thoughts this way as well, even though for me those are far from stuff I feel very uncomfortable about and mine were not really romantic more purely sexual and I did not have them many times about the T.

I think the idea of making some written notes is good -- this is what I do in my between sessions emails in a way and then just open my "mental notes" when it's time in session and let the conversation flow freely. If you are feeling uncomfortable in the moment, perhaps telling the T just that (it's also part of your feelings) may not be bad either to make the T aware and give them an opportunity to help you through it. I think even the mere fact of which feelings and topics make us uncomfortable can be informative in therapy, information about how our minds and emotions work.