[MASIMO]

I saw my T yesterday. He informed me he was going on another trip. He goes on one-two a year to all parts of the world and its usually for a month. I told him like a child that I didn't want him to go and that I was pissed at him, half joking. The thought of him leaving got me so upset that I emailed him last night and I said too much.

I told him we dont talk about my feelings for him, that I would go away with him if he ever asked, but that I knew that was never possible. That I get scared when he is gone, I'm so attached to him, and feel like I'm not going to make it alive until he returns....a little over dramatic there arrrrggghh. Then I told him that I loved him.

He has not returned my email.....arrrrgggggh. What do I expect him to say?
But I would still like a couple of words from him none the less. I dont t hink I can stand to wait until I see him next week to communicate with him in some way.
I did mean everything I said. He knows I love him, but I rarely tell him. My fear of losing him for a month just sent me into a tailspin. Should I try to contact him?

[WhiteClouds]

Originally Posted by MASIMO

I saw my T yesterday. He informed me he was going on another trip. He goes on one-two a year to all parts of the world and its usually for a month. I told him like a child that I didn't want him to go and that I was pissed at him, half joking. The thought of him leaving got me so upset that I emailed him last night and I said too much.

I told him we dont talk about my feelings for him, that I would go away with him if he ever asked, but that I knew that was never possible. That I get scared when he is gone, I'm so attached to him, and feel like I'm not going to make it alive until he returns....a little over dramatic there arrrrggghh. Then I told him that I loved him.

He has not returned my email.....arrrrgggggh. What do I expect him to say?
But I would still like a couple of words from him none the less. I dont t hink I can stand to wait until I see him next week to communicate with him in some way.
I did mean everything I said. He knows I love him, but I rarely tell him. My fear of losing him for a month just sent me into a tailspin. Should I try to contact him?

Good evening,
I saw your post earlier. I can truly empathize with you. I think all clients go through this during a time during their sessions. May it be for a death in the family, vacations, pregnancy, etc. Or in some cases, they relocate to another state. The separation anxiety sometimes cause all the emotions to merge and we express them. I'm sure as a clinician he is used to dealing with this. I hope he responds with compassion and understanding. Most importantly, I hope that he decides to explore these feelings with you when he returns from vacation. Think of this time as an opportunity for you to take a vacation as well. A time for you to live in the moment for 30 days and enjoy all of the work you've accomplished in therapy during the year. Going to sessions to face our hurts and pains is truly work. Though we view it as merely talking. We're actually working towards happiness, wholeness, joy.
I hope this help make sense of it. After all a burnt out clinician usually lead to maltreatment. In a way he is doing him a favor.

[growlycat]

When my T goes on vacations I get postcards. It helps to have some little token to look forward to in the gap when he is away. Sometimes he will lend me a book that has some connection to our work and we talk about it on his return. Maybe you can ask for something to help keep the connection alive?