 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 582
10 1,285 hugs
given |
Jan 24, 2015 at 10:35 PM
#1
I am missing him so much. I would have F***ed his brains out, given anything to him, sexually or not, and wish I could have a child with him...
Is this unhealthy? I just miss him so much. No wonder he cut off all contact with me. I am F***ed up in the head. __________________ "When it's good, it's so good, when it's gone, it's gone." -Ben Harper DX: Bipolar Disorder, MDD-recurrent. Issues w/addiction, alcohol abuse, anxiety, PTSD, & self esteem. Bulimia & self-harm in remission |
|
 Reply With Quote
|
 growlycat, precaryous
|
|
Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader 
Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,495
(SuperPoster!)
10 2,320 hugs
given 
|
Jan 25, 2015 at 03:22 PM
#2
Angelic Goldfish 05, sorry you are so distraught about losing your T.
I think it is naturally to project our feelings of wanting affection onto our T. It is hard wired into us to seek a nurturing being. And later we are hard wired to find a mate. So all these feelings are understandable. I did find some more subtle ways of expressing feelings toward therapists in hugging. When Is it Okay To Hug Your Therapist? | World of Psychology From my limited understanding of the APA code of Ethics, your T could lose their job, and be unable to work for the rest of their life if they gave into the fantasies that you mentioned. This would be a big price to pay and may also not be in your best interests. Sex comes up in dreams and fantasies during therapy and those can be addressed, but it seems clear what the APA wants is that the client be given the highest level of care, free of any romantic involvement. I would say this is put in place to protect the rights of people in therapy and to set clear guidelines for those sitting across from their client. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 582
10 1,285 hugs
given |
Jan 25, 2015 at 04:27 PM
#3
Oh my. I can't believe I wrote that with those words.. I normally do not say things in that way, it sounds so crude. Thanks for your reply CANDC. I wish I could edit my post and that I never would have had those feelings in the first place. The feelings, me expressing them, are the reason he left. And because I am crazy and sent him so many messages. He has a very lucky wife and family. It is true about the hard wiring to find a mate. A person like me does not get a mate like him. It is just not possible. He is too good and I am crazy. I will always be crazy. And I will probably be alone for a very long time. Especially when I push everyone away and have no impulse control, little capacity for distress tolerance and emotional regulation, and am just getting older all the time.
__________________ "When it's good, it's so good, when it's gone, it's gone." -Ben Harper DX: Bipolar Disorder, MDD-recurrent. Issues w/addiction, alcohol abuse, anxiety, PTSD, & self esteem. Bulimia & self-harm in remission |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: France
Posts: 91
9 22 hugs
given |
Jan 25, 2015 at 06:31 PM
#4
These feelings are normal, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Quote:
Second, even 80-year-old people can find their soul mate. So, contrary to what societal standards (enforced by the media) tell you ad nauseam, you will find your soul mate when it's the right moment to be with a partner. Third, you need first to gain coping skills for emotional regulation and distress tolerance to become more solid before finding the right person. Your ex-T is not better than you and you are not worse than him. Like you, he also has his own fair share of struggles, be because of his health, be because of money, be because of his family.... You will be lucky to find your right partner too when it is the right moment for you. |
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader
Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,495
(SuperPoster!)
10 2,320 hugs
given
|
Jan 25, 2015 at 08:35 PM
#5
No harm done. No need to be so hard on yourself. It is hard to tame the raging stallion in our hearts. It wants to break loose and run wild in the night.
Maybe these lessons will help choosing a therapist next time. Have you considered a woman that specializes in the area you feel needs the most work? Maybe that would be a whole different type of therapy experience that could help get to where the work needs to be done. I get caught up in my emotions too and say things I wish I hadn't said. Before I post I click on Go Advanced button below posting window and read it 3 times. And ask myself if this is what I want to post. If your original post really bothers you, contact the moderator and asked for it to be edited of deleted. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
