T's response to your feelings

Poll-
If T knows that you have feelings for him/her, what is T's attitude towards your feelings?

T said that feelings towards a therapist are not unusual, that it's fine, and the best thing to do is talk about it.
So I changed the subject

T was accepting, but I have no idea what he feels about it - if its a useful tool.

When I told him, he said he was "glad I brought it in". A bit vague, no? Every once in a while when the feelings become unbearable, we talk about it. But something in his manner makes me feel he is a tiny bit uncomfortable.

I answered with the first option, but I don't know that my marriage counselor necessarily thinks of it as a useful therapy tool. I think it's more that it won't interfere with therapy or make it necessary to terminate (and this is in a marriage counseling setting).

His philosophy is that all feelings are valid and we can't really control our feelings. He's accepting of my feelings for him (which he now knows include love) and gave me reassurance that it was OK and that he wasn't going anywhere.

I voted that T was accepting but I also get the feeling he "doesn't feel the need to discuss" my feelings with him. Of course, he did tell me to talk about it, so maybe that's just a projection on my part.

Just not an issue in my therapy.

I don't have any transference issues with T. however, last session was emotionally taxing. I really wanted to give him a hug for listening to me pour out my anguish.

I had to pick other because I am soooo confused right now.

He talks a very supportive talk, but what I see sometimes doesn't show the same. Today I feel like he has abandoned me and yet he keeps telling me over and over again that emotions are safe.

I just don't know

She was accepting of transference. I was accepting of countertransference. Now we love each other on some level. Ain't that some sort of therapy fairy tale? Hahhahaa!

May I ask, did your T discuss their own counter transference with you? How did that go?

Haven't worked up the nerve to talk about it yet. Partly because of my nerves, partly because other things are more pressing at the moment.

You know, we never really discussed either the t or ct. It was all just obvious as heck. I guess because both the t and ct were positive, it didn't need to be discussed, maybe? We did discuss the love thing though. And that was beautiful thing.

Can you elaborate? So you both loved each other and then what? Just curious since I feel like I'm in the same position only it's a horrible and frustrating thing.

I answered this about T1. I didn't even get as far as admitting ET to him, because as soon as I mentioned attachment he got super uncomfortable and clearly didn't know how to handle it. Initially his body language went all squirmy and he murmured something about 'handling it within the therapeutic relationship' but then he started blowing hot and cold on boundaries, and blurted something (really defensively) about not believing in transference (so that's how I answered the poll, though I'm not sure it's really true because he contradicted that in another session).
I think his head would have exploded if I had told him about the ET!
I believe there was some sort of unresolved countertransference there, but I can only speculate.

So I just realized this thread is in the 'romantic feelings toward my therapist' section. I must apologize for my previous posts because the love I share with my T is not a romantic or sexual one. It is the pure and wholesome "I love you as a human being" kind of love. I have never allowed myself to experience this kind of love with another adult so this is a whole new, wonderful feeling for me (hence my fairytale and beautiful thing remarks).

Sorry for the misleading remarks!! I'm just a love newbie trapped in a middle aged body full of young, immature parts!

Accepting but it's not an issue that's used as a tool in my therapy. That's not a rule of thumb in my case, but just how it's evolved and it feels right to me. I don't think rehashing or analyzing them are helpful in my case and we certainly don't talk about countertransference. This is my choice - I think it was more apparent at one point but not so much now, so it's not something I feel compelled to discuss.

i have love for my T. not romantic or sexual. like love for a parent. he knows this because i told him. he said he was touched. it was scary for me but im glad i told him i loved him. anyway T thinks transference is a tool in therapy. he was very accepting and told me it wasnt wrong

We've never discussed transference, so I don't know her stance on it. I have previously expressed my appreciation for her work with me, which she's thanked me for the comment. That's the extent of it.

I have a feeling my therapist would be fine with it and probably say something to the effect of "feelings are good or bad, they just are..." etc. Then we might discuss the associations and such and at some point she would bring up the need for a "mom" etc.

My T seems to think its because of stuff i am missing from my BF. I wonder why he doesn't think its related to feeling that my mother wasn't affectionate.

My T doesn't believe that all feelings in therapy are a result of transference. He says that sometimes therapist use that to dismiss the fact that two people can legitimately have feelings for each other even if they meet during therapy. He said that he and I would have cared about each other regardless of how we met, and we just get to have our feelings even if we cannot act upon them. As long as we are both solid on the boundaries of the relationship, there is no real issue and we only discuss the feelings to the extent they interfere with therapy.

My T. has been very accepting of my feelings towards her. She thinks part of them are due to transference and probably part of them are just due to the relationship.

Maybe I should change my answer. Because, yeah, MC has seemed accepting but now is pushing me away. At this point, it's more paternal than erotic, which I've told him, and that actually makes it feel worse to me that he's pushing me away. Because that's more deep-seated childhood stuff. Like, when he actually says basically that he's causing me pain/discomfort so that I can learn from it? What is that? Sorry, will back away slowly from this thread...

I feel this way too sometimes. I want to thank him with a hug, but I can't.

I told T and said he will make a appointment for me with a new female T. Sad.