[thesnowqueen]

When T was alive I would periodically go into states of extreme despondency wondering whether he really did care about me, or not. In 8 years I never left a single session wondering about this, but in-between sessions, and during vacations the doubt would creep up on me and would sometimes leave me in a state of acute distress.

This was often triggered by emails as I was encouraged to leave emails telling him how I was, or reporting insights or thoughts, etc, but his responses were always sporadic. I was encouraged not to judge my worth - or the worth of an email - on whether or not I received a reply. I was also taught to consider the various reasons for there not being replies - internet problems, electricity cuts, massive numbers in the recipients inbox etc etc.

To this day though - I wonder if a person can receive an email that signifies another is in extreme pain - care about that person - and not respond.

On the other hand - there was always the option of paging him in an emergency and he WOULD reliably phone back...

How does one make a final judgment about what one meant to another person when there are always such complex variables?

[cincidak]

Actions speak louder than words in my book. If they respond to me in a way that is caring, then I trust that that is a true insite. Have you tried meditation when you find yourself thinking these thoughts? I use Mindfulness meditation. You can use guided meditations on YouTube. You have their number in case of emergency, you can email them, which is more than I can do with my tdoc. Are you looking for more than just a therapist patient relationship? Are you hoping for friendship? Maybe explore just why it is you need to know whether they "truly" care about you. I'm sure they care about all their patients. What matters the most to me is that I trust my therapist to help me overcome obstacles, and put me in a better place mentally, and emotionally. That's just my two cents worth. Hope it helps.

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[Ididitmyway]

I think, there isn't just one way to care about someone, especially when one has professional duties towards that person. The way a therapist cares is not exactly the way a family member or a friend would care, but it is still caring..