Erotic transference: Do you ever imagine your therapist masturbating?

I know this is part of erotic transference for some clients, I occasionally think about former therapists and that they likely have masturbated in their life. It´s not that I would want to be close to them in that way but I can sometimes find it "exctiting" to think about. Not randomly like on the bus but when on my own and there´s a romantic scene in some movie or similar.


Perhaps it makes me feel they´re human and more than just a therapist in their office. As an example I know one of my former therapist is living on her own, as she also did several years ago, and it´s likely she has those needs from time to time.


I let my thoughts go there sometimes as I know feeling ashamed won´t make them go away.


Has anyone else experienced this?

No! i used to have a pdoc who used to put his feet up on the desk and touch himself. i only saw him a half a dozen times.

Ewww no
..

Maybe your imagining them masturbating is your mind’s way of humanizing them, making them vulnerable.

I have no shame about letting my mind go to any fantasy about whatever floats my boat. Nobody else knows what you’re thinking.

Yes I do as a matter of fact, and I've got no shame about it. I find T very physically attractive, and a fantasy like that is pretty typical for me about people I feel physical attraction to.

I'd never bring it up to T as long as she's my T, but would have no problem discussing it if she asked me about my attraction... Which I'm positive she senses.

What I would have a difficult time discussing is the emotional attachment, which I consider a very separate subject from physical attraction.

I have in the past yea

I've thought about it with my ex-MC and current T, both male. I've also wondered if they ever thought about me when they did that.

My friend used to say she thought my T probably did based on things he said/did with me... however, I find it very hard to believe ANY guy would think of me for that.... they may think of me if they are vomiting but not that.

The other thing is, no doubt our male T's do it.... it's just not a rabbit hole I like to go down in my mind. I think it could make things super weird if so

NO! Make it stop! I now have that image rolling around in my head and I never did before and it is not pleasant at all.

Thanks. Yes, I think it makes me feel more normal when thinking about like them masturbating or simple things like doing the dishes or taking the trash out. It´s not that I specifically fantasize about them because they´re therapists but more that I got attached to them. There´s also a frustration in this that I know I won´t ever be "the person they chose". It's a bit irrational as I wouldn´t want them to be in real life, like being their partner.

But my latest therapist is married and knowing that she already has "all she wants" makes me think like she still might not always have good sex and she sometimes chooses to masturbate instead. Those aren´t thoughts I frequently think about but they come from a mix between longing and jealousy about her being married. That I´ll never be part of her life in that way.

Thanks. Yes, I think clients might pop up in therapists minds in intimate situations as well. I don´t think it´s as common as when clients think about their therapists but that therapists also find clients attractive sometimes, either physically or emotionally.

I though don´t think an ethical therapist consciously "chooses" clients to think about like a client might return to thoughts about their therapist when in intimate situations. But that thoughts about clients more randomly runs through their minds, I strongly believe that happens.

Thanks. One interesting part in this I think is that don´t you think your therapist or a therapist sometimes has thought about you or a client in such a way?

I personally don´t chose to see a male therapist partly because I would never be sure if he had such thoughts about me. I would always wonder if he "checked me out" when I left the office or similar, especially if he was single. And that´s not at all because I see myself as attractive but because it for males, now very generally speaking, are more common to look at and be drawn to a woman figure than the other way around.

I have though noticed that female T:s or other counselors I´ve met reacts to some clothing I´ve wore but then I don´t see that in a similar sexual way (as none of my T:s has been homosexual). Then it´s more seeing someone in "some nice clothes" more than looking at my figure kind of thing.

Sarah, how do you know that none of your Ts we're homosexual?

Yeah I’ve definitely thought of this... and also like LT said, I wonder if he ever thinks of me during. It sucks being attracted to him.

Thanks. Because the first one had children and even is she was single I understood "between the lines" so to speak that she was straight. The second one actually told me she had had several relationships with men and my latest T who now abandoned me is married to a man. Even if the sexual orientation plays a minor part in my story about transference, I thought about the difference between having a male or female T.

There are more than two possible sexual orientations ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't think I'm sexually desirable to any man. I'm gross and that's that

I also highly doubt therapists actually think of clients while masturbating, I think it's more wishful thinking from a client view.... they have many other options to get off on, and ya it could happen from time to time with a client or two... but not common and I'd say most therapists never do

I'd be interested to hear therapists views on it but truly doubt it's anything more than wishful thinking from clients.

Thanks. I don´t mean in a sense that one of my former therapists would create fantasies about me and masturbate to them. More, like can happen to me, getting images flashing by seeing me or other clients when the therapist is in a sexual situation.


If a therapist has thought of a client because of something happening in therapy, a thought of a client could also be present when in a sexual situation. Not because it turns them on but more because masturbation or sex with another person involves a lot of different feelings, both joy and sometimes also sadness. That I think can bring forward memories or images of clients, even if very temporary.

Yes I've thought about it. I think it makes him seem more vulnerable and human as others have said. I also think it's quite natural to be curious about the sexuality of people you are close to. I think it's quite a young feeling, for me anyway.

As an aside, I have kids and I wouldn't call myself straight. I would call myself bi.