Sex with therapist

Hey, so I've been seeing this therapist for months
All was good at first, he once hugged me after a bad session where I just cried so much. But then we would hug every session, he sat me on his lap for a couple of times, then he kissed my cheeks and placed a gentle brief kiss on my neck, asked what I wanted and u replied that having a therapist is more than I ever dreamed of (the support that is). The next session this happened again, and given that I find him handsome, I placed a kiss on his lips, it was obvious that that's what our bodies wanted at that moment. The next session, we made out + I went down on him
The next session we made out
The next session we made out and I went down on him again
And the last session, we did our therapy work as usual. But then he hugged me. And I kissed him, he didn't reciprocate and so I asked if he was having doubts and wanted to stop and he said yes, turns out an accident happened to his family *yes he is married and 2 decades older than me* and so *given that we're religious* he wanted to fix himself.
Idk how to feel now, I don't feel okay. It's been more than a day but I'm still so shocked.

@blackswan22 welcome to MSF. I am sorry that you are confused about your therapist and their response.

A therapist in the US is required to avoid sexual involvement with their clients. Besides the conflict of interests where the therapist is supposed to be acting for the client's interests not their own desires, I think another reason this guideline is set is to avoid the confusion of "Is this person my therapist or my lover?" I think that one can be one or the other but not both.

Hope you find a way to work things out.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

Run! Get away from this therapist. Report him.

I googled this. It is also prohibited in Australia. Report him and find yourself an ethical therapist.

Totally inappropriate for the therapist blackswan22. He blew it, he overstepped the mark. Huge risk to everything in his life. Very sorry to know that happened to you though, and if you want proper professional therapy, get a new therapist and perhaps of the same gender as you. Just straight up therapy.

Man, you must be feeling some shyt right now. Everything you're feeling is valid. It seems like his family story/religion excuses are bs because he got what he wanted. I think it's a good idea to report him so you can do what you can do to get the steps made for him to not do this stuff to other clients. Regardless, you need to stop seeing this dude because on top of that being wayyy inappropriate and violating, there is no way any therapeutic progress will be made now.

That is sexual abuse. Report him.

That is not a therapist but a sexual predator.

If you want to work therapeutically, find yourself an ethical professional. That guy is not it.

I can only reiterate what everyone else is saying and, in particular, what Rive said: That therapist sexually abused you and if you are able, I would report them. I know reporting can be an extremely difficult thing to do, so do what feels right for you. This sort of abuse from a therapist is such a violation, it makes me very angry. I can empathize with what you might be feeling right now. Please find another therapist or go to someone you trust for a lot of support. There are many books and articles online to read about this egregious therapist behavior, if you are interested. I suggest them because they might help you to feel less isolated with this experience. Sending well wishes and support your way.

Reading your post, @blackswan22, shocked me to my core. I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through at the moment.

As everyone is saying, this is sexual abuse - absolutely heinous behaviour, and a crime against you. For this to occur in what should be a safe place is inexcusable. The therapist is abusing their power, position and trust.

I think it’s also important to say that you have done nothing wrong here, the fault is entirely with your therapist. They are a monster.

As difficult as it may seem to you now, they need to be reported to protect future clients. If they have done this to you, then they will have done it to others before you, and unchecked they will continue to do it to others.

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find alternative support to help you through this.