how do i select a good therapist ? what kind of therapist should i look for?

i have been to a lot of therapists, but it seems like a lot i have had, haven't been very helpful. if i select a therapist what kind of background should i need them to have? i know all therapists come from different field of thought.

how can you gauge if one is going to make you feel comfortable?

i never feel comfortable opening up all the way to therapists so far. i guess it serves me right though

just fyi: and you only have to read this if you think knowing my background will help:

basically growing up was a complicated. i was a lower priority foster kid. the parents would prioritize their biological children.

i actually have done pretty well, but cant get over one thing. all my life i was told i was mean. i am NOT mean i am actually really altruistic. as a kid though i would get exhasperated when my feelings were ignored and i have to admit as a kid i did have reasons to be angry.

but im not a MEAN person. i never have been. why do i still get afraid of being my natural self? am i really mean? its hard to be compassionate when everyone around you fights like mad. i can be judgemental at times its true. i can be pessimistic but i try very hard not to be

but yeah i've become a walled up kind of a person in some ways. and i know its not good, but i dont know how not to be. my current therapist isn't very helpful but i think she expects me to sit with my thoughts and come to my own conclusions, when i really need feedback from her, its a confusing time in my life

i just want to be gauged.. sigh i hate looking for therapists. if i get a new therapist what kind of therapist should i get?

i wish i could find a therapist that believes the less you overthink things, the better off you will be. it seems when i don't overthink things everything certainly gets better.

do you think there therapists who could approach that sort of notion similarly?

A therapist who is well-versed in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

this article is very helpful in giving you tools to find a therapist you feel can help you. i also know feeling like it's a good match for me is important. trust is another thing i need to feel. in order for therapy to help we need to feel comfortable opening up and directing our needs in therapy. that way the therapist has a map to guide us to learn skills and ways to cope. i found there were many traits i had that i needed to replace with healthier ones. my therapist helped and gave me encouragement too. i found a cognitive behavioral therapy(ist), CBT, worked well for me. it deals with the now and doesn't focus so much on the past.
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx13t.htm

Yeh, try someone trained in the newer schools of thought. staring at your belly button for 15 years in psychoanalysis doesn't sound like where you want to be.

The behavioral therapies, systems theory, brief solutions... those kinds of schools of thought may be more to your liking.

mindfulness is about not over thinking things, just accepting, not judging and just being present in the "now" - it really helps me when I can stay out of my head for long enough to do it.

There's a good guide for selecting a therapist here: http://www.metanoia.org/choose/