[alwaysrejoice]

Please pray for me, I have been dealing with this depression since July 2010 or even longer. I need help. Please pray that I get back to my old self. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Thanks.

[beauflow]

(((Always Rejoice))) I don't pray but I have good thoughts your way- Hope you feel better soon Get back to your old self or as close to it. Best wishes

[lynn P.]

(((alwaysrejoice)) - I know that deep feeling of wanting things to change or improve and I've wished for change. Sending strong vibes for healing your way.

[Borntowander52]

Don't Stop Believin

[Queen of Chaos]

I'm 110% ADD and always have been BUT, I suppose, also compulsive-obsessive about a few things. I guess, because I've never felt really well, I've tried to keep a lot of things (lab reports, letters from doctors, appointment cards, etc.) BUT while my compulsive-obsessive side keeps all this stuff, my ADD side keeps it wildly disorganized!

Recently I got to thinking back over my medical/mental health background and my compulsive-obsessive side decided to actually buy some folders and make some kind of order out of my medical life through the years. I actually finished my project, which surprised the heck out of my ADD side!

I am 65 years old. The #1 fact that hit me like a ton of bricks as I was organizing my old medical records was that I have been going to doctors with symptoms of chronic depression for over 40 years. 40 years! I've been prescribed every antidepressant on earth, subjected to a variety of treatments, even been hospitalized - and I'm probably as depressed today as I've ever been.

There have been high highs when I seemed to feel relatively O.K. and function normally and just as many low lows when I wasn't sure I could survive another day, when my depression hurt so horribly that I didn't know what to do, when relief seemed nowhere to be found.

I wish I knew what causes such deep and profound depression. I'm not sure "chemical imbalance in the brain" is all there is to it but I have to believe somehow we generally try to make ourselves keep keeping on. When I got my papers all sorted, I found myself thinking back, remembering how brutal the suffering can be with depression and wondering how I endured so much of it...and how long before I feel that much pain again?

Depression strikes me as something nobody understands fully unless they've dealt with it personally. I don't have any answers but please know that I know where you're coming from and I hope things will improve.

[alwaysrejoice]

Queen,
Very well said. Your words were encouraging. Thank you very much for responding.

[di meliora]

Hello, alwaysrejoice. I shall remember you.

[SunnyD]

I will be praying for the depression will lift.

[33yankee33]

Dear alwaysrejoice, I'm a bipolar who tends towards the depressive side. I'm currently in a rare manic mode. I know that when I'm in the dark abyss of depressive, it seems to be without end (mine usually last 3 to 9 months). I do nothing but eat and lay in bed and sleep 20 hours a day. But it does get better eventually. My prayers are with you.

[needfixing]

anything is possible with prayer, and faith.
(((hugs)))

[yelsub]

Originally Posted by alwaysrejoice

Please pray for me, I have been dealing with this depression since July 2010 or even longer. I need help. Please pray that I get back to my old self. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Thanks.

I love Bob Marley's music too but the Truth is, you don't deserve to be hurt. Put an arm around your old self and gently encourage her to walk forward with you. You can't go back, but you don't want to abandon or leave her behind either. Sample other artists. Natasha Bedingfield, maybe: Today is where your book begins / The rest is still unwritten. Collaborate with your old self and just ease on down the road.