Support Prayer Plse

((((Open Eyes))))

Thanks unhappyguy, I do need hugs I am very sad. I keep thinking I have to go and check on her because that is all I was doing and then I have to relax and remember she is not there. It is strange how I got on a schedule of vigilance.

Open Eyes

((((Open Eyes))))

I've been following this thread and praying desperately for you and your pony. I'm so sorry it has come to this. She was a very special pony and member of your family. You gave her everything you could, and then some. You gave her a good life filled with quality, quantity, and FUN.

I know it's hard, but I hope you won't hold onto the resentment you feel towards your neighbor and dogs for an extended length of time. It's not possible to force someone to care if he doesn't care. The stress your pain/resentment causes you will have no effect on him, so I pray you will be able to find peace with all of this.

May your sweet pony in peace - but if she's feeling good and wants to kick up her heels.....maybe she can go chase down those dogs for you.

((((open eyes)))) I am so sorry

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I am trying to figure out how to grieve in a way that wont agrivate the PTSD that I am trying to figure out. I never understood how it presented itself or that it could so I am not sure how to react in a way that wont hurt. Its very confusing.

I wish I could just somehow slow life down a bit so I could get a handle on the PTSD. It has been hard to do and also still address the aftermath. It is hard for my therapist as well, he sees I have some real issues tugging at me that is hard for him to help me with.

Thank you,
It means so much to get hugs right now.
Open Eyes

I wanted to somehow thank PC for being here. I at least had someplace to put my thoughts and emotions. It was very hard because my husband was around a lot and he was monitoring my emotions with a lot of negetive responses. He was making a very difficult situation even worse in many ways. So, I couldn't let out my feelings and I was so tired and frightened and it was very hard and it was so emotional too.

By having PC to come to so I could at least let my feelings out somewhere kept me sane. It is very hard for me to keep everything in and absord it all, that is what I always did, was somehow demanded of me for as long as I can remember. So it is expected of me and it has become a habit of me just feeling like I have to be the one to fix the problems of others, put myself aside and just absorb so much.

This experience was too much for me, but I had no choice. I tried very hard to not allow it to tramatize me, but it was and I just was not really capable of addressing it.
I did put myself aside to address this pony, and there was really no other way around it. I have been losing big chunks of time and confused about what day it is, what time it is and I know that is not good. I think it is very scary, I am afraid of it to be honest. At least I had been able to come to PC to help me get my mind off of it and work on thinking about other things besides the confusing upsetting things my mind had to try to process.

I AM exhausted but it is hard to sleep because my brain is in a state of confusion I guess. It is coming out in my sleep and I am trying to come to terms with it when I am awake.

My therapist told me that it is going to take me time to grieve this and recover from it. It has been so nice to be able to come to a place where others know how difficult it can be to deal with what I have. I don't have that outside PC, I have constant critisism and orders in how to think and because my husband is around he is commenting on everything I do, even if I unknowingly let out a sigh. I just feel like every thing I do is walking on eggshells. I am just exhausted to be honest.

And my daughter doesn't understand it at all and I am truely walking on eggshells with her. I am trying not to be jumpy, but considering my environment and what I just went through, I am sorry, but I am jumpy and tired and trying to find a quiet way to process without being critisized for something I am just trying to understand myself.

Thank you for listening, being here, it really meant so much. I had to let it out somewhere. Because keeping it all in is not healthy.

Open Eyes

It's disheartening to think that you haven't received the support you've needed, when you give so much to others. I hope this changes for you.

Rest.... your body has to rest or it doesn't function (that includes the grey matter inside the skull.)

Losing anything is tough; a beloved pet is doubly tough.

((((open Eyes)))) I am sorry for your loss. You must feel devastated. Keeping you in my prayers.

Hello, Open Eyes. I shall pray.