[shakespeare47]

One of the ushers sat behind me during the service and when someone's cellphone went off he swore "******* asshole"- not extremely loudly, but loud enough that I could hear- he's an older gentleman- perhaps he didn't realize how loudly he was talking?


Anyway- It was a Unitarian Universalist church, and I've witnessed several forms of hostility in each UU church I've attended.

Maybe attend mass at a different church? Sounds like that usher forgot where he was when he cursed out loud. Geez. That's just bad form all around.

[Serpentine Leaf]

I also stopped attending a UU congregation recently (they were fiercely resistant to it being called a church). I'm fully on board with the principles of Unitarian Universalism, but I also faced that kind of attitude there. The people had a middle-school cliquishness about them, as well as the yuppy tendencies so common to that whole town. What really put me off from them was when we had a food drive for a local food bank, and even after the second service, there were only two very small bags of groceries. The people there were all VERY comfortably middle class and could at the very least have brought a single can or box. If every family had brought a single item, that bin would have been overflowing. My family had very little when I was growing up and I know what it is to be genuinely hungry. I was considering looking for another UU place, though not many exist in my area. Thank you for the heads-up that this is common; I didn't know that.

[SlumberKitty]

I think you can find examples of people behaving inappropriately or rudely at almost any Church (or wherever there is a gathering of people). I have a Christian background and have attended many Churches and there's always one or two here or there are are a bit off or a bit rude or something. I don't know anything about UU churches, but if you liked the service, maybe give it another go, and try not to sit by that person. HUGS Kit

[LilyMop]

I have been wanting to go back to church after years of not going. I looked into the UU church and while I like the concepts, there have been red flags and that’s been keeping me from going to that one.

Originally Posted by LilyMop

I have been wanting to go back to church after years of not going. I looked into the UU church and while I like the concepts, there have been red flags and that’s been keeping me from going to that one.

@LilyMop , would you be comfortable saying what the red flags were?

@shakespeare47

I agree with SlumberKitty. You can find examples of people being rude in any type of church or group.

I used to go to a UU church. I never really felt part of the group and they always seemed a bit silly in some ways. Truthfully I've had difficult interpersonal experiences there, especially with someone being inadvertently very rude and invading my boundaries a lot at their meditation group. I still go to their knitting group sometimes. And I'm getting better at speaking up for myself now and being assertive. But I don't go to the church anymore.

With all that being said, how was the service? Was there anything you liked about it? Give it another try if it feels worth it. Sometimes new things are really hard and can rub us the wrong way. The more familiar, the easier and more comfortable it is.

Edit: I just reread your OP and see you've noticed a lot of hostility at each UU church you've been to. No pressure to go again, was just giving another perspective.

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy

@LilyMop , would you be comfortable saying what the red flags were?

Based on what others have said to me and what I’ve gathered from reading their website, I expected clicks and perhaps some silliness, as you said. I know two people who have left due to hostility. It was a turn off for me so I opted not to go. I’m always open to changing my mind though.

LilyMop thank you! I was wondering if it was anything like my own experience. I feel validated here that others have had difficult experiences in the UU church as well. Not that I am glad that that has happened for you all!

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by Serpentine Leaf

I also stopped attending a UU congregation recently (they were fiercely resistant to it being called a church). I'm fully on board with the principles of Unitarian Universalism, but I also faced that kind of attitude there. The people had a middle-school cliquishness about them, as well as the yuppy tendencies so common to that whole town. What really put me off from them was when we had a food drive for a local food bank, and even after the second service, there were only two very small bags of groceries. The people there were all VERY comfortably middle class and could at the very least have brought a single can or box. If every family had brought a single item, that bin would have been overflowing. My family had very little when I was growing up and I know what it is to be genuinely hungry. I was considering looking for another UU place, though not many exist in my area. Thank you for the heads-up that this is common; I didn't know that.

I'm also impressed by the 7 principles.


I don't want to say it's common in all UU churches- it's just that I've witnessed a fair amount of hostility in each of the 3 I've attended in my state.


I haven't witnessed any stinginess.


I've also encountered resistance to the idea that someone would drive 50-60 miles to attend. I get the impression that the people I've encountered believe that one should attend in a church in one's community- like no one ever leaves one community to join another- and checks out churches before committing to the move.

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

Based on what others have said to me and what I’ve gathered from reading their website, I expected clicks and perhaps some silliness, as you said. I know two people who have left due to hostility. It was a turn off for me so I opted not to go. I’m always open to changing my mind though.

Interesting, and kinda sad. I was kinda hoping it was just something about the UU churches near where I live.

Like WovenGalaxy, I also feel my impressions were validated- thanks for sharing!