[BubonicPlague]

I always felt different growing up. I have not had an easy life growing up and the household was constantly chaotic and turbulent. The first time anyone had introduced me to anything spiritual was a Hypnotist by the name of Conrad. He was a cool guy. I remember nearly two years of working with him when I was 7-8 years old he introduced me angels and the meditation guide Gabriel. I started having an interest of death and the afterlife at a young age. Very scary concept for a young girl, and just became fascinated with heaven and cemeteries. Also at that point in time, I was into cryptozoology. Fast forward a few years as I entered my teens, the paranormal, and the occult. It scared my mom because she didn't want me to get involved with the unknown, yet I kept persisting, even without her knowledge. When she found out she completely flipped a *****. When I was around 15, I had an attachment, very negative spirit that stuck with me. This was a dark entity, and that was start of my mental illness. They tried treating the voices with every medicine possible and she still would not go away. She eventually left on her own when I was about 17. I remember seeing my mothers therapist. She told me I had a gift with seeing spirits and other types of entities, and could also see the negative entity very possessive of me. That scared my mother and she wouldn't have any of that. 18 I started experimenting with witch craft. Black magik, that had a negative effect and it drove me into insanity (don't hand over your emotions and mind to them as a contract deal). I tried running, and would get nightmares, my body was near dying and was on death's doorstep and was in recovery for trying laced weed. That's when the weird stuff started happening. I went on a date with someone, and they explained to me that I didn't need to be doing any of that stuff and that the power was in me. During this time I had dreams of alien entities. Nordic races and even angelic beings. I can even remember having dreams of Michael, Gabriel and Raphael (were with me during my years as a teenager) where they tried to chase after me, hold me down in something similar to that of alien abduction. Because I had been with several different spiritual groups, one bound to the light forces and the other to the dark I was running from both. They were fighting over me to get to come to either of their side and still to this day they are. One day I went to a reiki healing session. At the time I was in a battered woman's shelter getting away from my abusive adoptive father. There was a seer there. This was the time that I started having past life regression, dreams about different past lives. It felt like I had a connection to the middle east, that I was some sort of angelic being from the past. I said clairvoyantly I could see the wings on my back along with horns on my head. She said she could see that, and also said that my spirit guides Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael all had their hand on my shoulder and were praying for me. That there was also another certain someone (that I cannot mention on here for rules and regulations), but I think you could probably take a good guess who I am talking about. To this day it feels like I am still that kind of being. An incarnated fallen angel, because still to this day I will not affiliate myself with god. Yes, I still have a very strong relationship with the archangels (even have a slight crush on them, I'm still a young woman after all). They are a bit distant with me, but for a good reason, they only really appear to me in my dreams. To this day I experience people coming up to me saying how beautiful or attractive I am, it scares me. I have a very youthful appearance. I have precognitive, telepathic and even clairvoyance, and possible healing abilities (because my energy started to spike and flow freely throughout my chakras recently.) Still to this day it feels like I'm being monitored by both sides. I feel like I'm being watched. To this day I am struggling to find my purpose because I am limited as to what I can do physically and mentally. I got off on a really bad start and got the **** end of the stick. However there's still a lot to determine and other things I need to discover.

[Have Hope]

Hey, I sent you a PM.

[Prycejosh1987]

All the best on discovery. Life is something enjoyable and good for the soul and heart. Problems come but they should not define who we are.