Concerned about myself.

I am concerned about myself. For the past two days I have keep myself in a drug induced sleep. My panic disorder and ocd have gave me fits this week. I am worrying about everything. I worry about the future and what will happen. I know God is in control. I need to get rid of this doubt. I know part of it is that I am going back to work full time this week. I don't have a problem with that itself. My family is used to having me home a lot and me working around their schedules. I can't do this during tax season, I have to work full time for four months and then work very part time the other eight months. I realize this isn't good for me so I am looking for something steady year round. Another thing is I work with people who have panic attacks. One of them can't stand to be alone. When they have a panic attack, my body follows. I have spoken with my pastor and have prayed about it. I know it is time to move on. I am not quitting my job until I find another one. I, also, deal with the fact that my boss's daughter committed suicide. She was my next door neighbor and she was the anchor at the office. I am worried about myself. I did lay off the drugs today. I was using over the counter cold medicines and motion sickness medicine to keep sleepy. I just tired of the attacks and the constant worrying. Pray for me.

I understand very well, Fay. You're in my prayers.

I've been in several stressful situations myself lately and I'm having a strange reaction to the stress. Never had it before. I start itching all over my body really, really bad. If I scratch, it just itches that much more to the point that I just want to dig holes in my skin.

I've realized that I've been extending myself and not "refilling my own tank". Like you, I spent the biggest part of the day asleep. Didn't need any help from drugs, either!

Being in your work situation isn't healthy for you. I agree with you that you need to find an enviornment that is safer for you. Ask God to open that door for you. "Ask and you shall receive."

Thanks for the reply. Thanks for the invitation to your social group. I really enjoyed what I have read so far. I appreciate your help. Please send me any details about the group I need to know. I usually don't home until around 9 central standard time on Sunday night from church.

Will do. Hang in there.

Fay, the details are posted today in General as well as in our Forum, At Jesus' Feet, at the bottom of the forum index.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...426#post910426

The notes for tonight's study are posted in the social group board "At Jesus' Feet".

http://forums.psychcentral.com/group.php?groupid=1

You'll be most welcome if you decide to attend.

I appreciate the invite. I have prayer meeting at 7:30 pm central standard time on Monday nights and then I have a bible class immediately following . I will read your weekly bible study. I wish could actually be in the chat discussion. I really enjoyed what I have read so far and sounds good. I really appreciate the invitation. I would appreciate any advice you can give. Donna

If you need something more steady and year round can you perhaps work and or volunteer at your church? Just a thought

Im feeling you...I'm having the worst day with my ocd since starting my med. I've been doing really good for 3 months now and today I just want to crawl back in bed until this goes away. Of course I can't do that because I have to go to work...I'm praying for you...

fay, thanks for feeling comfotable sharing what's going on with you. when i read about your drug use it concerns me. with your diagnoses doing drugs will offset what your meds (if you're on some meds) are trying to do to help you or using drugs can enhance the ocd, etc.. can you go to your family doctor and gets some advice of how to go about getting off the drugs without doing otc cold med., etc? that's also got stuff in it that can interfere with your meds.
do u see a therapist or take meds for your ocd, etc?
i will pray for you.

Thanks for your concern. The only medications I am taking now is what my doctor has prescribed for my blood pressure and panic disorder. The doctor, also, is having me take mucinex and benadryl for my allergies. Benadryl doesn't make me sleepy. I am back working full time and am pretty tired when I get home. I was having a big problem with vertigo. I have been using Vicks vapor rub and it is doing wonders for allergies and sinuses and calms me and helps me fall asleep. It is just something about the smell that is so soothing to me. I do consult with my doctor about everything I take because of my other medications. I have noticed though when I eat vegetarian I feel fine, but when I eat meat I feel yuck. I praying about it. I see my pastor for counseling. I have had bad experiences with therapists. I have cancelled appointments with them when I was suicidal and believe or not, they never called to check up on me. Thankfully, I had people by my side to help through it all and a nurse practioner who found the right medication to treat me and turn things around. I do realize I was wrong with taking so much otc medicine to make me sleepy. I have had the right act given to me by my sister who is a home health office manager. Sorry about the rabbling, I am tired. I have worked all day and just left the hospital where my mother was admitted because her blood pressure went into stroke level. I wanted to stay with her, but she said she would be okay that she knew everyone on duty and her heart tests had came back okay. I am still worried about her. I inherited my blood pressure, panic disorder and ocd from her side of the family.

I have spoken with the pastor, the teachers, and others and they are willing to have any extra help they can get. So that is a definite. Right now, I have got to get through tax season. I am working full time, Jan through April. I am also looking for a job that is full time year round. Thanks for the thought.

Welcome! Good to hear you have a pastor that counsels. Even if he doesn't have advanced training (though some do) the understanding regarding faith can fill in some of the gap, and the compassion is more valuable. Please don't wait to ask for help from the church when you need it...waiting till you're overwhelmed might also overwhelm them.

Thanks for reply. My pastor told me to come to him when I need to not wait. He was definitely there for me last night. My mother was admitted to the hospital with her blood pressure at stroke level. She is doing better today. They are running tests and getting her blood pressure under control. We are praying for her. Thanks Sky for your help. Donna aka faylowell

{{{{{{{Donna}}}}}}}}}} It was really good having you in group last night!

Didn't know your mom is in poor health. Don't be afraid to ask for prayers, ok? Your mom is in my prayers and so are you.

Thanks for the prayers. My mom's heart tests came back okay. The doctor just upped her high blood pressure medication and she went back to work. I appreciate your prayers. Today, after work I just started panicing. I was okay at prayer meeting, but as soon as I got home I lost it started crying. My OCD kicked in and I started reading and rereading about things I have no control over. I worry about everything. Plus, my husband's niece is pregnant and she can't take care of herself much less a baby and she broke up with the father. It is a bad situation and my husband didn't really want to let me know because I have been struggling with things. Just to let you know, I have had OCD for almost 38 years since I was 4 and the past year I just admitted it. It has been rough trying to win the battle. Sorry about the rabbling. Thanks for being here. Donna aka faylowell

ps. My first name is Donna. My sign in is a combination of my middle name and my husband's.

Sorry to hear about your mom faylowell. Try not to feel like you need to take all this on. Take care of yourself first.