[DarlaKat]

When I was a kid, only 5 or 6, teachers and counselors always thought I had attention deficit disorder. Of course many people place this label on children who are violent, impulsive, and emotional. After many years of doctors basically jacking me up on speed, they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. But there always seemed to be something else wrong..........

Yesterday I got my test results back. I have schizoaffective disorder. I always thought I did, being the hypochondriac that I am. But the diagnosis totally fits. I abuse drugs, hide from everyone, hear everyone talking smack about me, thinking up extremely deranged things, getting so depressed I wouldn't even get out of bed for at the least 48 hours...getting so manic that I'd basically go into a drug binge blah blah blah.

I'm glad that I know what I'm suffering from so that the pain can stop. The daily stress of just LIVING can stop.

But, even with proper medication, I've heard that it's still difficult to control certain impulses and psychotic features...does anyone know how to go about this?

Peace

[grandma100]

Hi DarlaKat,
Controlling your sleep is critical. Even if you have to use sleeping pills to do so part of the time. Vivid dreams that seep over into wakefulness-write them down and illustrate them. Cognitive therapy and mindfullness techniques(new) help you regulate your thought patterns. Focus on getting good at them. Intrusive thoughts and visions of hurting people and getting aggressive can be ramped down. Stay away from Nyquil, alcohol and illegal drugs. They will either precipitate a psychotic break or cause increased hallucinations. Learn when you are going psychotic. My alarm is olfactory hallucinations(common with schizoaffectives primarily) which are strange smells. If everything smells like rotting meat I know that I am going down.

[mgran]

Grandma's advice is very good. I've had to give up alcohol, because it precipitates depression, and also losing inhibitions is very bad for us. I've woken up mornings, before I stopped drinking, to discover that I've cut myself all over my arms... not deep, but shallow, and all over. I've cut my belly and dug holes into my breasts. So, I know I can't drink. A few times over the years (maybe four or five) I've taken marijuana, and it completely effed me up. Psychotic thoughts and anxiety ready to spin on a dime towards violence.

The meds don't completely get rid of some of the problems, but they give you the necessary distance to recognise them, and this makes it possible to manage things which before were unmanageable. For example, I got very bad since Friday, and at one point was sure I was headed to the hospital. But I've managed, with the meds help, to slowly turn it around, and some friends are going to get me out of the house today, for the first time since Friday. Before the meds I wouldn't have been able to ask my friends for help. In fact, before the meds I'd never have trusted anyone enough to make friends. So, just trust that they will help, and be prepared to work at it. Things can get better.