[brackenbeard]

Hi i'm new here. This seems like a great site to open up so I wanted to start off with something that affects me everyday, and that is my self-absorption.

My therapist would always tell me, "you've got to get out of your head!" I never quite knew what she meant. I mean, I'm a philosophy major, being in my head is sort of natural. Anyway, recently I went diving into websites to find out what it means to be self-absorbed. What I found out is self-absorption is an excessive preoccupation with one's own thoughts and feelings. Well, that's me!

The thing is being alone in my head with my thoughts more often than not leads to more distress, especially when thinking about my what my illness throws at me. Its like a force trying to suck me into thinking more and more about my psychotic experiences. (I have light intrusive thoughts throughout the day.) If I had to guess, I'd say I've never benefited from this excessive thinking. I'm trying to make sense of being a person with psychotic experiences, and also trying to comfort or protect myself from future experiences.

I wonder if this self-absorption is like a protective measure. However it goes I've felt the desire lately just to let go. I say to be myself "I'm not getting sucked in to this." Then I distract myself.

It's difficult y'know especially when feelings of negativity are circulating your body. You just want to say how do i make sure I never have an episode again. I guess ya can't and the best you can do is be smart and make wise decisions.

[mgran]

Look up "rumination". This is what happens when we overthink things, and does play into some psychiatric negative experiences. At least as I understand it. I think we all have a tendency to disappear into our own internal experiences... it can be a challenge to overturn that tendency.

[Feiticeira]

I think self-absorption is the opposite of a protective measure, it's more like something that causes you to internalize things that aren't necessarily directed to you. Such as, your friend says, I can't stand it when so and so lies to me, then you assume that he also means you. Then you think about all the lies you told to him and perhaps feel like a bad person.

Obviously I'm over simplifying, but getting out of your on head in a sense is meant as a way to open yourself up and not take things personally when they aren't directed at you. It can lead to becoming overly critically of yourself and it may prevent you from doing and saying things you feel, and sharing more openly with another person.

[brackenbeard]

Just a minute on the intrusive thoughts. I have intrusive thoughts which are just plain evil. They suck! They're scary! And I don't want em! All they do is create fear, stress, and worry in me.

But I can't help them. They come uninvited. How should I handle them guys? Should I tell myself, nope, just electrical signals lalalalalalal, just my brain going off again. Should I laugh at them... they're just my illness and it's ******** lalalala....

I don't know, but I know one thing, I'm sick of being scared. I'm sick of getting wrapped up in wondering if i'll become the boogeyman. Sick of it. What is the right attitude to adopt toward my intrusive thoughts?

Thanks for the responses. I'll look into rumination. I've heard the word before.

[mgran]

I'm sorry about the intrusive thoughts... I know they can be awful. They can be a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder, not just schizophrenia, and I think correct diagnoses is important. You could do with what they call Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's hard work, and sometimes it's hard to find a practitioner... in the mean time there are meds that can help, but I know going down the med route is a turnoff for some. I'm ambivalent on it... sometimes I'm pathetically grateful, and feel much better, other times I just feel like I'm stuck on stuff that will keep me fat and sleepy for life. It's hard... I'm sorry you're going through it. In my experience it's bloody difficult ignoring the voices/intrusive thoughts. I think you need to be open about this, and ask for help. Let us know what's happening here as well, I'll check in to see how you are.

[costello]

I think we in the west are self-absorbed in general. We're each a little island of ego. Sad and lonely and disconnected.

I've been reading Thich Nhat Hahn's Understanding Our Mind. He quotes Fritz Perls, one of the founders of Gestalt therapy: I do my thing, you do your thing; I'm not here in this world to live up to your expectations... You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful; if not, it can't be helped.

Thich Nhat Hahn disagrees. He says, "At the very least I expect you to take care of yourself, because if you take good care of yourself, I will suffer less."

He offers the following gatha (which I'm working on memorizing) in response to Perls:

You are me and I am you.
Is it not true that we inter-are?
You cultivate the flower in you so that I will be beautiful,
And I transform the garbage in me so that you don't have to suffer.

The "cure" for self-absorption IMO is to focus your attention outward - on other people, animals, nature, art - even doing the dishes if it's done mindfully. Being focused too much on oneself makes it very heavy and tiresome to be alive.

When you become aware of self-absorption, use your senses to take in your environment in an attentive and non-judgmental way. Close your eyes and listen to what you can hear. Or notice the temperature of the air in the room. Or raise your eyes and notice the light and shadow around you right now, or the colors or forms. Or notice aromas around you.

Even if you can do it for only a few seconds, it brings such relief. A breath of fresh air blowing away the heaviness. If you practice enough, you'll find you can stay in the present moment more and more instead of chasing your own thoughts around perpetually.

[brackenbeard]

Originally Posted by mgran

I'm sorry about the intrusive thoughts... I know they can be awful. They can be a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder, not just schizophrenia, and I think correct diagnoses is important. You could do with what they call Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's hard work, and sometimes it's hard to find a practitioner... in the mean time there are meds that can help, but I know going down the med route is a turnoff for some. I'm ambivalent on it... sometimes I'm pathetically grateful, and feel much better, other times I just feel like I'm stuck on stuff that will keep me fat and sleepy for life. It's hard... I'm sorry you're going through it. In my experience it's bloody difficult ignoring the voices/intrusive thoughts. I think you need to be open about this, and ask for help. Let us know what's happening here as well, I'll check in to see how you are.

Thanks Mgran. One thing, taking meds at 8 or 9pm might leave energy for the next day. But there's still the problem of waking up. I'm trying to become a day person, mornings groggy and sedated are tough to emerge from.

[brackenbeard]

Originally Posted by costello

I think we in the west are self-absorbed in general. We're each a little island of ego. Sad and lonely and disconnected.

I've been reading Thich Nhat Hahn's Understanding Our Mind. He quotes Fritz Perls, one of the founders of Gestalt therapy: I do my thing, you do your thing; I'm not here in this world to live up to your expectations... You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful; if not, it can't be helped.

Thich Nhat Hahn disagrees. He says, "At the very least I expect you to take care of yourself, because if you take good care of yourself, I will suffer less."

He offers the following gatha (which I'm working on memorizing) in response to Perls:


The "cure" for self-absorption IMO is to focus your attention outward - on other people, animals, nature, art - even doing the dishes if it's done mindfully. Being focused too much on oneself makes it very heavy and tiresome to be alive.

When you become aware of self-absorption, use your senses to take in your environment in an attentive and non-judgmental way. Close your eyes and listen to what you can hear. Or notice the temperature of the air in the room. Or raise your eyes and notice the light and shadow around you right now, or the colors or forms. Or notice aromas around you.

Even if you can do it for only a few seconds, it brings such relief. A breath of fresh air blowing away the heaviness. If you practice enough, you'll find you can stay in the present moment more and more instead of chasing your own thoughts around perpetually.

Nice post. I find this stuff to be true. Listening to the birds and cars outside my house keeps me in the moment. Taking a shower and being slow and attentive feeling each sensation leaves a great feeling.