[Number_13]

Having a psychotic day. And I still have to get through work. Taking breaks and sitting on the bathroom floor to try and calm down. I cant live like this anymore. The constant pain and confusion and panic and fear. No one should have to live like this. No matter how hard I try something always slips me up. Something out of my control. I always considered myself to be a rational, analytical person. But now I can’t trust my brain. It betrays me, in little ways and big ones. And being as dependant as a child again. This disease robs you of yourself. And I’m tired, maybe too tired. No one should have to live like this.

[Phoboxyl]

Originally Posted by Number_13

Having a psychotic day. And I still have to get through work. Taking breaks and sitting on the bathroom floor to try and calm down. I cant live like this anymore. The constant pain and confusion and panic and fear. No one should have to live like this. No matter how hard I try something always slips me up. Something out of my control. I always considered myself to be a rational, analytical person. But now I can’t trust my brain. It betrays me, in little ways and big ones. And being as dependant as a child again. This disease robs you of yourself. And I’m tired, maybe too tired. No one should have to live like this.

I'm very sorry to hear you are faced with such soul-sapping pain. What are the sorts of things you are experiencing? I am very curious to know.

[swimmom]

I can relate to how you are feeling. It's a struggle just to even get to work for me some days; and once I'm there, I hardly get much accomplished. The psychotic episodes are difficult for me to hide. You're right - no one should have to live like this. I do hope you feel better soon.

I totally relate... I hope you are relieved soon, even if it's temporary.

[RunningEagleRuns]

good luck. believe life will get better.. it will

[Number_13]

I am completely anxious all the time. I get severe panic attacks. I feel like nothing is real, like nothing really exists. Sometimes I'm not sure if what I think is real. The world is too loud and too intrusive. There are demons and an old woman following me around. And I'm scared all the time without any reason.

[33yankee33]

I agree that you should get your levels checked, then armed with your results, sit down with your pdoc and see if are any are any indications for a meds change.

Do you have a therapist? My therapist does wonders with me. I don't know what I would do without her. If you don't have a T, I would highly recommend one.Good luck.

[RunningEagleRuns]

i agree. life is tough with a mental illness..

[Ixtab]

These days come and go, all comes full circle in time...

[RainFall]

i feel exactly the same.i went from highly logical and confident in my knowledge to dependent upon the very people who hurt me.i can never get my head organized enough.i used to see things and eventually thought of them as more fascinating than scary.to me its like being in a real intense movie or book.your fears will subside when you realize whats real and whats not and they can't do anything to hurt you.i put things in2 categories:watching things(meant 2 b watched not played with), interactive things(better if dealt with or explored),or another person(may need another here to sort it out).i hope this helps cuz it used to with me at least a little.meditation helps a lot.

[mgran]

Hey Number13, hope you're feeling better now. Just to let you know, I really admire you for being able to fight on when you're feeling so bad, and still be working.