[Evil_Karot]

Does anybody else experience memory loss, either short term or long term, with schizoaffective disorder? Reason why I ask is, I don't remember much of any of my childhood, nor much of what happend even a month ago. And before you shout abuse, there wasn't any kind of of abuse. I just simply do not remember hardly anything of my childhood. But like I said,
I have trouble remembering recent events too. For example, we have a dial string that we use at work to forward calls. I use it probably 100+ times a day. I can't remember what it is, until I look at it. Could this be because of my disorder, or the meds, or what? The meds I'm on are, Prozac, Effexor, Depakote and Clozapine.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by Evil_Karot

Does anybody else experience memory loss, either short term or long term, with schizoaffective disorder? Reason why I ask is, I don't remember much of any of my childhood, nor much of what happend even a month ago. And before you shout abuse, there wasn't any kind of of abuse. I just simply do not remember hardly anything of my childhood. But like I said,
I have trouble remembering recent events too. For example, we have a dial string that we use at work to forward calls. I use it probably 100+ times a day. I can't remember what it is, until I look at it. Could this be because of my disorder, or the meds, or what? The meds I'm on are, Prozac, Effexor, Depakote and Clozapine.

Yup.

No radical abuse in my background. Just typical peer bullying for being different. Some teachers were derogatory and unsupportive too.

During a bad episode my working memory can get so scrambled I can't make sense of a single sentence while attempting to read. Some of that may be the antipsychotics though. But I'm not on APs at the moment, and my ability to concentrate and memorise things is generally poor, but it varies from reasonable to quite impairing.

My short term memory has always sucked. But then I also have ADHD.

Long term - some of my memories go as far back as age 3, but there are huge gaps in my recollection over my life. Photos work as memory joggers.
I don't think this is specific to any mental disorder, and is normal in the broader population too.

[schizoaffective]

When a thought is formulated in our brains which needs to be remembered for some reason, we automatically classify this as stored data and ascribe to it an expiry time.

So, for example, if we had the idea of going to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, this would be a short term memory need and so we would give this data an expiry time of perhaps 20 seconds (enough time to reach the destination and start performing the task). After that, the data would be reclassified as garbage and dumped into a kind of "recycling pool." Sometimes we get distracted on the way to the kitchen, arrive a bit later than expected, and then forget why we have gone there.

Likewise, data with longer term memory needs (remembering to revisit a particularly beautiful location in a national park for example) would be ascribed an expiry time of, say, 5 years. After this, the data would be similarly dumped into the pool.

Sometimes the data is so important that we need to ensure we never forget it (name of our spouse, for example) so we give it unlimited storage privileges with no expiry time.

When we dream at night, we sift through random data in the vast recycling pool containing a lifetime of dumped memories to see if there is anything we could use to help us with any problems encountered during the day. If there is, we fish it out and reclassify it.

What happens with Schizoaffective Disorder is that the distinction between dreams and reality becomes blurred - so much so in fact that it is sometimes impossible to say which is which.

The result is that any particular thought we may have during the day can be misinterpreted by the brain as part of the dreaming process. It would then be ascribed a typical dream-related expiry time of just a few seconds. In other words, we would almost instantly forget it.

Similarly, at night, data encountered while dreaming may be regarded as real and current, so our brains mistakenly give these thoughts a brand new classification and expiry time. They are then "legitimised" and when we wake up we may believe they have actually happened. During the dreaming process, we may have classified them as important, and after we wake up we act on them accordingly.

Regarding memories of past events, whether last month or in years gone by, the brain will sometimes temporarily block these, either for the sake of efficiency or because of trauma, an illness or injury. Sometimes they are just not important or interesting enough to be retained and get hurled into the recycle pool.

As a Schizoaffective sufferer, my life is pretty dysfunctional. Perhaps that is why I cannot remember too much of what has happened over the last 25 years - or 25 days - or 25 hours. Perhaps I'm looking for better answers, not looking back at the wasted years and inadequacies of the past.

Don't get me wrong! I'm an optimist. But optimists tend to look forwards, not back. Perhaps deep down you are the same.

[DePressMe]

Karot, I have major problems with my memories too. Some of it is from my meds but some of it is from my illness. My recall gets worse when I get sicker. I have big parts of my past missing and I have a distorted time line of the events in my life. Sometimes I look at pictures and I have no memory of them. To compensate I write everything down and keep calendars......D.

[sweetmadness]

My long-term memory is much better than my short-term memory. But it has improved over different periods of time. I took Seroquel and I had a lot of problems with memory, but it was also a part of becoming more integrated when I was first labeled. I assume or guess that people with schizoaffective have to work harder on their memory than most people. It seems like it, because it took me longer to learn to drive on the highway.

I am diagnosed with ADHD as well, but my insurance recently denied giving me medication for ADHD. I don't really know why they denied it, but I am not paying extra for it since I can manage ok without stimulant medication.

I've started using Luminosity and Khan Academy to improve memory and retention. I can still drive fine without stimulants, but they "seemed" to help improve my concentration. I drove in NYC and DC traffic so I think I'm ok. In NYC though, I took an Adderall and it helped me stay awake through the NJ turnpike and I needed it. It's when I need to be hyper-vigilant and focused that I need stimulants. I didn't take any uppers in DC, but I drove after midnight. My focus was less good then.

The thing is, ever since getting off the uppers this year I've felt totally memory shot. I think I should probably try and adapt to this instead of band-aid it with uppers at this point but seriously, the temporary relief was great. It took me several years of practicing over and over before I started Vyvanse and it immediately kicked me into gear, that I passed the license test and began working toward my degree. Now that I'm off it I'm not able to go to class because I'm tired all the time and have less motivation.

My psychiatrist thought it helped me too, because I was much more alert after she put me on it and less zoned out. But after awhile I adjusted and I felt groggy again, also it tended to make me a little more susceptible to mania. That's a high risk when you have schizoaffective, of becoming unstable down the road.

Overall, the best way to improve memory is through practice. If you can create the same brain reactions through meditation and memory games that medications would, you will be healthier. It's difficult but it's worth it more than adderall.

[fishhead6875]

I have the diagnosis and even get disability for it I have some short term loss